


Take a Closer Look

by psyluna



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Accidents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Banter, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, Sickfic, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 00:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21311119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyluna/pseuds/psyluna
Summary: In the dead of the winter, there lies Kourindou. Everything's quiet, except for its owner. Sellers take no vacations.Working endlessly under the blizzard, Rinnosuke hears knocks on his door that will bring him trouble, as usual. However, a second look on things will bring the unexpected to an once peaceful end of the year.English version ofOlhe Outra Vez.
Relationships: Hakurei Reimu/Kirisame Marisa, Hakurei Reimu/Morichika Rinnosuke, Kirisame Marisa/Alice Margatroid
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. Coffee + Aspirin

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Olhe Outra Vez](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310255) by [psyluna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyluna/pseuds/psyluna). 

> Hello everyone. This story came to me through a question that popped in my head in a sleepless night and from my love for this incredible series. Written in eight months and started in 2016, now it arises in a bilingual edition. Maybe it has an unusual theme, but where would be the fun in life if you leave things be?
> 
> This is a translation of my own work, which is originally in Brazilian Portuguese. The Portuguese version will be prioritized, since it is finished, and it shall be published along seven weeks, one for each chapter. The English version will receive a new chapter every fifteen days, if everything works as expected. Have a nice read.

_ I should’ve fixed that window already. _ A gust hits the pane over and over, producing a bothersome click. Rinnosuke tucks better the folded piece of paper in the gap, between the frame and the pane itself. He takes a deep breath and straightens his back. The list will be unfinished if he gets caught up on anything else. There is barely remaining space in the warehouse, but Yukari’s miscellaneous and curiosities found their places without a second thought. She never shows up to leave empty handed, and never leaves home the ordinary shivering smug. “Sleeping masks: five units”, he takes note on the catalogue after double checking how many they are and moving them to the box on the right. _ What a familiar scent. _ He gives a soft press on one of the masks; it reminds him of one of the tea caddies, green tea with jasmine. It has a well known somniferous effect, so including it in a bedtime apparel makes sense. A peek inside the unchecked box lets out a grouch. There is still lots to do. Between Yukari’s goods, he finds some Outside World incenses. _ They can’t beat the local ones. _Line after line, a page comes to an end. If he keeps up the pace, that box shall be over in half an hour.

There are knocks on the wood again. He gives it an annoyed look, as if the improvised fix was at fault, but the window stands still and silent. _ Was it the door? _ The youkai customers know about his daytime schedule and find a way to come by in business hours… Unless they want to make some mess. He hangs on a bit more for a second knock, and just then gets up to answer, waiting for trouble. Who would it be in such a blizzard? Even if it is hard to hear, he puts an ear to the front door.

“Who’s there?” He asks with a hand on the key in the lock.

“Rinnosuke, it’s me.”

_ How enlightening. _He repeats the question and hears something along the lines of a sneeze.

“Hurry up and let me in, it’s freezing here.”

He does, with a grain of salt, and sees indeed a great source of trouble on an unusual time. Reimu comes in and sneezes again. She struggles and shakes to take her hands out of the pocket to clean her nose with the long sleeve. She mutters a “thanks” while taking shoes off and blows a bit of warm breath over her fingers. He considers inviting her in, but she skips formal permission and walks in as with her own living room.

“What got you outside in a night like this?”

_ And with a cold like that _. Reimu sneezes more than she is able to speak, looking relieved to be indoors. She suits herself on one of the sitting cushions around the table, on the opposite side of his own. Both product boxes are still by his sides. When she stops sniffing and rubbing her face, he can see her purplish lips.

“There was a ghost slamming doors and knocking stuff in a house nearby.” Her voice is hoarse and nasal. “The apple farmers, you know?”

“Yes, the Nakano. I buy their fruits. But why did they request your services in such a bad time?”

“There were actually two creatures. One of them was an elder man wanting some attention, some great grandfather or the like. Then it started to snow inside with all windows closed. I had a little chat with Letty when I left.” She sneezes and cleans a red, teary eye. “She tried to hide but it didn’t really work. I tried to fly home and it didn’t work either.”

_ “You should not leave home sick like this” _, he ponders telling her and gives up. The humble farming family was haunted by something they could never exorcise; and she would be there for things like those, bedridden levels of sick or not. If she did not watch over Gensokyo, who would? Rinnosuke deems himself not even close of fit for the job.

He makes her wait by the living room and comes back from the bedroom with two thick duvets. Reimu becomes a fluffball up to the nose, shaking a lot less.

“I’ll pour us a hot drink. Will it do? You don’t look very hungry.”

“Whatever. It’s been a while I can’t taste anything.”

_ Tea, then. _ He is not wasting any precious coffee if she can not enjoy it. Heaven knows when a new pack would be in stock. It works like a charm to keep him awake and boosts him to finish the product catalog. After trial and error, the electric coffee brewer worked again, and he thinks of it as energetic, diligent gadget.

Back to the table, he sees Reimu with a pile of magazines. Suggesting, requesting, or even begging that she does not pick up merchandise never worked, not even once in thousands of attempts. He gives her a cup of tea and sits back to his cushion. He pulls a notebook from his front bag, smaller and newer than the catalog. “Coffee: a dark bitter drink made of roasted and ground beans, commonly sweetened, with energizing properties”, he notes on a new page. 

“What book is that?”

“This one?” He gestures with the hand holding the notebook. “I take notes of unusual entries on things. I call it an utility dictionary.”

He keeps secret of its motives, though. _ It’s an old, complicated story. _ His fascination with magic studies was no news. Theorical knowledge and gadget design are his expertise field, since he ditched combat magic due to lack of skill. In a way, he was proud of it; on the other hand, he did not learn it on his own and that was the point. _ “Magic is no shallow thing, and no toy: it’s a life commitment. We pay our price for choosing a way and not another, and an offer is not always a gift. Never forget it.” And I didn’t. How could I? _ But it was knowledge after all, as tempting as information can be. 

_ “Safety is a myth, Rinnosuke. There are just more or less dangerous things. Each try is a bet. Sometimes, we lose them. As I did.” _ Perhaps his dictionary would become a grimoire with enough persistence, even if only of everyday life. The closer to your true self, the smaller the chance of something going terribly wrong, but doubts are doubts and he chooses avoiding external input, as well as to avoid inciting more people on it in a careless way.

“Quite your thing, huh.” Her eyes do not leave the volume she reads.

Only flipping pages sound for a while. Used to spend weeks not seeing a single soul taught him to talk to himself, or otherwise stay quiet. _ I’m busy and she doesn’t seem up to chitchat. _ He glances at the table and Reimu got a pencil to solve puzzles from an issue. He saved that one for himself, but does not say a word to object. She does as she pleases, whenever she wants, and a negative review would be enough to scare away any customers. The bottom of the box feels empty when he taps it. _ Two to go, stay strong. _ Celebrating gives him mixed feelings. Just two more, or still two of them? Half full or half empty? He goes upstairs to pick up another box. Reimu does not bat an eye when he gets on his feet, and she sneezes again.

Leaving said products in the attic was both a good and bad idea. Neither they clog any passageway of the usual home, nor they disturb Kourindou's chaotic aesthetics; going down the stairs carrying such weight would always be risky for a clumsy man. Reimu is not in the living room anymore. _ If she ever blinked on the outside’s direction, I'm so scolding her tomorrow. _ He checks the kitchen first, then the bathroom, lastly the counter’s surroundings; nothing. Her shoes are still by the door. _ By the way… _ He double-checks the drawing table. _ Where's the sketchbook I left here? _ Bedroom lights shine from under the door. _ Thank goodness. _ He does not make a move to call for her, and does not open the door. She might need a break.

He picks up all Reimu's left duvets and wraps himself up. A fresh cup of coffee, some extra motivation. “Adhesive bandages, small size: two boxes. Book markers: twenty four units. Precision compass: one unit. Rubik’s cube: one unit”. _ Also known as a magic cube. Not magical in the slightest, despite that name. _ He fools around with its sides without a solving intent. An item after another, then another one, and the following. The box seems endless. He rests his head. _ I’m catching up in a minute. _

~

Rinnosuke opens and closes his blurry eyes. Everything is indistinguishable. He find his glasses upon his nose with a brief touch, letting out a cuss then standing up at once, feeling drained. _ How long was I asleep? _ Almost nine in the morning, states an alarm clock on one of Kourindou’s shelves. He takes off the frame glasses just to find them sadly crooked. His stomach hurts, and he heads to the kitchen in hopes of some meal epiphany.

Warm sake by this time of the year is a great choice, but he acknowledges Reimu’s bad drinking habits; he does not mean to induce that when she is so ill. He scans the kitchen cabinet after a rice cup behind some bowls and a small glass bottle shines in the corner. _ Aspirin. A painkiller, anticoagulant, and anti inflammatory. It might help. _ He leaves it on the counter and takes a note word by word on his dictionary. There is no need for a human amount of food on his side, but he will not pass a tempting meal, or a chance to be near fire. The sneeze sound is progressively louder, and Rinnosuke knows Reimu is awake before she shows up.

“I’m not asking if you’re any better.” He keeps an eye on the stove and looks over his shoulder with a playful smile. Her face is somewhere in between convalescence and chagrin. “Here. After you eat some, I suggest that you take one of these.”

Reimu sniffs and stares in suspicion at the pill by her rice soup bowl.

“Does it work?”

“I never really needed it. The flask is fresh open.”

_ And I’m not needing it ever, I believe. _For himself, Rinnosuke made a bountiful, more appealing breakfast: cooked winter vegetables, miso broth and some of Reimu’s remaining rice soup. In spite of portion size, they take about the same time to finish. She gets up to leave the dishes in the sink, and he warns from the living room:

“You forgot about your pill, bring some water.”

She stops midway to argue about feeling better, sneezing twice. _ What can you do to disprove a fact? _ Back, she holds the medicine as if she was calculating if it was needed, ill enough to take it in the end. Rinnosuke gets back to the catalogue until she circles him to get to the window, then calling him to see something. He twists his body and notices right away a narrow sunlight beam from only the top of the window. 

“I thought it would be dark like this because of the curtains. It’s been a while since it snowed this heavily.” He closes the notebook and stands up, stunned. “There’s no way I can run business today.”

“No one even leaves home on a day like this.”

_ Does she get the irony? _ He laughs, and Reimu glances at him with a face he can not unriddle. He goes off topic:

“I ask myself if this blizzard was someone’s doing. Things like these happen quite often.”

“It wasn’t Letty. Yesterday was enough on her.” She reaches for the curtain. “Cirno?”

“You wouldn’t even startle her right now.”

Reimu shrugs and sniffs. She asks what can they do to kill time.

“It depends on what’s of your liking. I’ve got some inventory to do, but I fancied a break anyway. A new set of playing cards is here, care to see it?”

He goes for the wooden box under porcelain dinnerware. The back of the deck features an intricate black and yellow illustration, of wingless dragons facing opposite ways. Reimu spends a great deal of time checking card by card, even if all of them look the same from a side; she looks a lot better.

“They’re fancy. How do you play this?”

“A suggestion list is in the kit. Each game has its own rules. Some of them won’t even need all of the cards.”

As she reads, he notes down some more stuff. A shiny, soft hair brush, two bags of marbles, a neck pillow, lots of letter paper. The box finally looks emptier. Reimu claims to pick a game and points it on the list: it is called “Cheat”. He asks how it works.

“It’s quite simple. Each one of us draws seven cards.” She shuffles and deals them, saying step by step out loud. “I flip one off the deck, this time it’s a three. I play one, face down. It may be a two, another three, or a four, then I call its number. Two. If you think I’m lying, say “cheat”. If it’s a lie, you win. If it’s not, I win.” She flips it face up to reveal a two of spades. “Whoever gets rid of the seven cards first is the winner as well.”

“One under, an equal, or one above, correct?” Rinnosuke sets the notebook aside and Reimu nods, cleaning her nose. “How about a best of five?”

“Fine by me. This is a four.”

~

A best of five led to another through mid afternoon. Two by two, heading to a tiebreaker, when Reimu complains she feels cold and has a headache.

“Don’t you want to play the last one?” She mutters about calling it a loss and rests her head on her arms, over the table. _ Wow, she must be feeling awful. _ “I’ll take your temperature. Excuse me.” 

Even as he brushes her fringe away with his fingertips, Rinnosuke feels the warmth and reaches her forehead with the back of the hand.

“Well, that medicine wasn’t so great. How do Outside World people make do? Does it work better with them?”

He covers her with another blanket, turns the heater up, and states he is going to prepare a bath. She does not respond, but he did not expect her to do it. Waiting until the firewood is willing to become ember is of a serene boredom. He carries the hot water two caldrons at a time, minding each step. The idea makes him shiver in agony. He always hated burns, for no other reason than hurting a lot.

Back to the living room, Reimu is asleep. Calling her is of no use. Making noise would be obnoxious. He chooses shaking her lightly; she dismisses it and buries her face in her arms. He tries again. She raises her hand to repel him and some form of muscular ache gets her in the arm. Rinnosuke does his best not to laugh. Suggesting a ready hot tub does not amuse her much, but she complies anyway. Back to work, he fits lots of diverse goods on the list: silver cutlery, framed paintings, photo albums, hair accessories, paintbrushes and so many others.

_An airhead, am I. Reimu needs new clothes. _None of the girl’s outfits he has for sale will warm her up enough. He chooses a black and white dress, lighter colors on the upper part, one of his own indoor coats and a grey silky scarf he has seen on Yukari’s neck before, but she traded it with him for something he cannot recall. He knocks on the bathroom’s door. _Please, shall it not be too embarrassing._

“I brought a change of clothes. I’m leaving it here, alright?”

If she cared or was bothered by it, it did not show; not even a “thanks”. Rinnosuke does not pay it too much mind, but asks himself why is he this forgiving. _ Gloves would be good. _ Back to the bedroom, in the drawer where they are, he sees the pencil she used the night before, and a familiar cover. _ My sketchbook. _ He opens it on the last sheet he sketched himself and notices the next page was detached and taken. Nothing on the following. _ Weird. What did she write? _ It takes him a while to remember a simple method to find it out, from a long ago read murder mystery book. He scrabbles the whole empty page with graphite, in hopes of Reimu is a heavy handed writer. Lines are vertical. A letter for a loved one.

_ “The year is coming to an end; another one by your side and I am deeply thankful for it. It was a gift my fate gave me. We know how many amazing or tough times we went through, and maybe I did not make it clear about how I feel, because I was never good at that. Sorry. Looks like I am not as talented as you may think. Maybe I am not even as good as a person as anyone would guess. Yes, it is harsh, but true. There is one last thing, a thing I can not deny, and my only sorrow is not being able to say it out loud looking in your eyes.” _

And no more. The sudden end may be due to a lack of space… Or a lack of guts. With a hand on the chin, he fiddles with the question of who is the nameless receiver. The eraser on the other tip of the pencil would not erase all that graphite stain; the pencil holder on the drawing table has the solution. Anguish is unavoidable. It is a race against time until she leaves the bathroom. If she notices any suspicious move, what will she think? The sheet is, in the end, all wrinkled and stained, but there is not much to do. He takes it away, more certain that it was a better cover up, and puts the sketchbook where it was found. Catalogue work ahead goes unnoticed, mechanical. He fills another page before she shows up, wearing an oversized jacket and seeming to breathe much better.

“Aren’t you cold anymore?”

Reimu denies with a head move and stretches out arms and legs, then sits again.

“Wanna play some more, or are you too busy?” Her voice comes out muffled, due to a resting face on a hand, and no more because of a runny nose. He has no time to answer. “Wow, what’s that?”

“A paperweight. Be careful.”

Her eyes shine when she holds it closer to check. It is indeed a splendid piece, even inside its box: the heavy sphere has a small blooming cherry tree as lively as a real one.

“Sure you wanna keep that?”

“Yes, I am. About the previous question…” “He peeks into the box and sees fewer stuff. “Will you give me five minutes? There’s not much left.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Reimu spends her time distracted by the paperweight, more than trying to hold a conversation. Eight Cheat rows later, they call it a day on the game by mutual agreement. She remarks:

“These other card games are too complicated, need more people, or are boring. Any suggestion?”

Rinnosuke runs through his memories of the recent stock until feeling stupid for just being able to check the catalogue. _ It even seems like a waste of time noting it all. _ He does not mention it; not really feeling the mood to be laughing stock, moveover when he deserves to be.

“I have a new chess set. Do you know how to play it?”

“No. Will I need to think too much?”

“You’d better, or you’re likely on the losing side.” He goes for the board inside the right box. “There’s a guidebook, and you can ask me if you don’t understand some rule.”

A handful of explanation and a match assure Reimu’s talent, or sheer luck, in any kind of game. Despite her beginner’s moves, she explores lots of Rinnosuke’s faults and even forces some of them to happen. Congratulating her may stroke her ego, but she is entitled anyway. About half of the rematch, her stomach growls loudly. _ No wonder. She ate so little and so long ago. _

“I’ve got some apples, if they don’t give you bad memories.”

“‘Cause of yesterday, you mean?” She sneezes. “I don’t mind. No need to peel them.”

The third match is Reimu’s hard fought victory, and the sun sets before six. Rinnosuke gets more duvets and a pillow in order to not wake up so drained of sleeping in the living room. As it is mid winter, she feels sleepy quite early; after a temperature recheck, he puts an extra blanket over her and leaves her to her dreams.

Another box from the attic, more stuff to note, but something on the way. What he had done about the letter: was it blatant snooping or not? How would he know that those words were meant for someone so intimate if he did not read them? It could have been anything; an art doodle, some math done, poetry. He expected nothing, actually. It was curiosity, then he happened to stumble upon troublesome stuff. 

However, he could assure himself of a thing: it was not for him. Even though he knew Reimu since her birth, they had never been through a single thing that deserved those kind of feelings. Besides, she knew too many, and showed closeness to few… Except for Marisa. They were inseparable, almost as a single person. _ Is that so? _The letter’s emotional tones left him wondering. Did the Hakurei shrine maiden have a secret affair? Thousands of possibilities and all of them intriguing.

_ Why am I wasting my time with this? Her life is none of my business. _ After two or three catalogued objects, he went back with his own statement. _ A bit of imagination won’t hurt. I just can’t let her notice. _ Before half of the box was gone, he gave up; it was all small goods and stuff, too many details to itemize one by one. Rinnosuke made up a cozy improvised sleeping bag with three duvets and used the rest of them on their original purpose. _ It’s surprisingly okay. _ He took a while to fall asleep, feeling like a poor investigator.


	2. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. It's been a while, isn't it? I hope it's worth the wait.
> 
> In case you are able to read in Portuguese, the original version is up with the third chapter and you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310255/chapters/51095827).

_ Just five more minutes. _ He turns on his stomach. _ The bedding is always softer in the morning. _ Rinnosuke feels something poking his mid-back; he dismisses it, but it does not work. He has an impression, one of somebody calling him… Then, they shake him on the shoulder. _ Leave me alone, thanks. _

“Hey, come on. You said I could wake you up.”

He hears a sneeze. _ Reimu? _He turns around and squints his eyes. Even if it is not a shiny day, they are not used to the light yet.

“Geez, what a pillow face. I’m hungry.”

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” He gives it one extra layer of irony. She will more likely ignore it, or take it as morning hoarseness.

“Have you ever noticed this question makes no sense? No one feels a thing while asleep. I think ‘did you wake up well’ fits better.”

Despite sniffing and scratching her nose most of the time, she is back to her regular disregard for his opinion. _ Yeah, she’s feeling better. _ He stretches and bids farewell to the duvets with a heartache.

“I tried making that dark brown tea earlier, but it’s awful. How do you even drink it?” _ Please don’t be what I think it is, for the love of all gods. _He asks what tea. “The one in the purple tin.”

“It’s not tea, it’s coffee. It’s not brewed the same way.”

“Oh… I hope it tastes better done right.” She makes a disgusted face and hints a shiver.

Low-spirited, Rinnosuke checks how much ground coffee there is. Maybe five or six watered down cups, rounding up. Heaven knows when he will put his hands on another pack. _ What a good way to start my day. _ The mushroom and vegetable breakfast tastes like gloom, no matter how good-looking the dish is. He encourages Reimu to eat it instead of rice and apples: she seems underweight. A peek through the window grants them still stuck in Kourindou. It feels claustrophobic, but not too out of place for him, in practice. He worries a bit more about Reimu. She must have stuff to do and could even unblock a way out… If she was fully healthy. Since she did not propose it herself, she might feel like calling in sick, so he does not dare to try. Talking her out of something is next to useless.

While putting away some dishes, the dream he had that night emerges at once in his memory. One of his books, in reality a dull, soap-opera like drama, became a full biography of himself; however, the pages regarding the future had only floating strokes, making up words here and there. _ It must mean nothing. They never do, at least not my dreams. _ He still skims through said book to reassure it is still as boring as cataloguing recent stock. There was an almost full box left. Reimu watched his work as if it was interesting of some sort. _ I wonder if she found nothing to fiddle with. _

“I wanna play something.”

“I’m busy right now. I’ve postponed this way too much. Could it be later?” She agrees half-heartedly. Rinnosuke has an idea. “I can finish it earlier if you help me.”

“It depends on what I’ll get from it.”

_ I knew it. _ The paperweight would appease her in the blink of an eye, but he liked it as well. He goes for a hair ornament: a multicolored comb with fake plastic wisteria pendants. She ponders for a while before taking it in and ask what is she supposed to do.

“It’s easier if you note stuff down and I find out what they are. - He lends in both notebook and pen. - Just write it as I was doing before, see? This is a…”

“Nail file. I have one like this.”

_ I know, it used to be mine. I missed it last month. _ Working like this is way faster; there is no stopping and writing every time. Thinking of it before would not have helped, since Reimu sneezed every other thirty seconds the previous day. She looks mesmerized by lots of other goods that change boxes, and bargains successfully for a key pendant necklace, not because of Rinnosuke’s benevolence, but because he did not see himself wearing it. _ If I ever charge her for all she owes me, she might pay me with the shrine as a whole… I pass. _ By the way, not a single word about the lost sketchbook, or the _ found _ one, depending on whose opinion. It is a complicated matter, and reminding it ignited his curiosity on the letter. He decides to give it a try.

“Did you see a blue covered notepad somewhere, by any chances? I needed it.”

She sneezes, scratches her nose, raises her squinted eyes and mocks him back:

“How do you even find your products if you don’t know where did you put your own stuff?”

_ A good dodge, that one. Bad idea talking about it anyway. _

“If you keep insulting your gift source, you’ll end up without any more.” Reimu complains and he takes the joke back. “Porcelain salt shakers, two items.”

_ Maybe she doesn’t want to share it. At least not now, it seems, or not with me. _

The uncatalogued box comes to an end and he can taste the victory earlier than expected. A nice, warm and secret sake cup is his treat, one of the finest quality. The only thing left is taking the box to the attic again. Reimu climbs just behind him and does not hesitate to search for further interesting goods. She fiddles with a fluff ball, throwing it up and hitting it all of a sudden, starting herself with the dust cloud it creates. Rinnosuke loses track of the sneezes and puts the toy away.

“Come here, I’ll get a towel.”

“You gotta clean the attic more often.”

“No, I don’t.” He turns around and keeps on going downstairs. “I’m mostly the only one coming here, what kind of illness could I-”

A single slip and all balance is gone.

He has no idea where did he hit his head, but it happened. The strike’s recoil came at once, and pain comes step by step. A curse goes through gritted teeth as he tries moving, sitting, getting up, anything. Standing on his feet makes him dizzy as a bad surprise. Reimu panics and cries, and she hurries down the steps. She carefully touches the wounded side.

“Why the fuss? I just tripped, it was noth”

_ Oh damn. _ She shows a bloody red palm, and asks:

“Where can I wash this?”

“There is a bathroom somewhere in the house, you know.”

Reimu struggles to carry him through the corridor and leaves his head to the bathtub walls. Water that is way too cold for his liking flows over the cut, over his face and clothes; needed, but a nuisance.

“It’s okay already, leave it to me.”

“Stay still.” She holds him back raising a hand and dries with a towel that quickly is not white anymore, pressing a dry part on the wound. He expected worse. _ For someone that goes around punching people, she isn’t too heavy handed. _ He gives up on stopping her, since even breathing hurts, but does not quit negotiating.

“It’d be good if I could lie down.”

“How? Laying on the floor will make it worse.”

“You could, I dunno, keep my head higher?” His own voice is too loud, and own words are worthless. _ I should just shut up. _

Much more carefully than foreseen, Reimu moves him to a stained towel pile she put on her own lap. Rinnosuke tilts his face to avoid the lamp and the scarce sunlight. The bathroom’s window is the only one set high enough to be currently outside the meters of snow, but way too narrow to get out of the house. The bothersome, throbbing pain will not go away, plus the blood that drips and soaks his scalp; not even acknowledging it shall heal in a few days is a solace. _ A new one for my fantastic accidents list. If I wrote a grimoire on this… _

“Is it okay like this?” She asks, seemingly worried for real.

“I wouldn’t call _ this _ an ‘okay’, but yes. I’d just like to clarify why are you so protective.”

“I was unable to function for two days and you did the same.”

_ It may be true, but it didn’t cross my mind that you could ever pay a debt. Thanks anyway. _ Maybe it would sound funny if it was not for a mix of terrible mood and agony. Reimu is not in good timing for banter, either.

“It’s been a while since my last serious wound. A trip here, a spilled drink there, but nothing like this… Mishap.”

“When was it?”

“About twenty years ago, I guess. I took care of it myself. It didn’t stun me like now.”

He pulls the right sleeve up to the elbow. His forearm has several pale lines, scars that once were not as narrow. Recalling the shattered glass makes him shiver.

“Do you know a god of tripping? It must like me a lot. I fell over a shelf full of glassware.” Reimu giggles and his head shakes. “Take it easy, it hurts.”

She apologizes and holds his head with both hands; she can not help to sneeze. Rinnosuke feels cold due to being soaked, and she must do, too, because her fingers shake. _ And her fever is back. She should be in bed. _ He doubts she would oblige, even moreso him being like that, so he brings up a book series he saw her flipping pages the day before. He appreciated the intricate historical plot, but she claims being too lazy to remember too many house names.

“That’s what glossaries are for. There’s one by the final pages.”

“Oh, yeah? I didn’t see it. It’s boring anyway, searching the end of the book whenever I’m in doubt.”

Asking what she is _ not _ lazy to do is pointless, given that one knew her for so long. _ Drinking and fighting, of course. She doesn’t even resemble a shrine maiden. _ He suggests other simpler books that she saves for later searches. When he feels better, Reimu helps him to his knees, then to his feel. He raises his head with surgical care. His glasses fall down, with a split hinge. The noise it makes when hitting the floor drives her attention to the mortal remains, later to him. Not laughing was impossible, and he regretted whatever uncalculated move. _ Now, the walk of shame. _ With an arm on her shoulders, they proceed to the living room.

“Where is your first aid kit?” Reimu inquires, again charmed by the cherry tree paperweight.

“Last drawer in the wardrobe, behind the other stuff, I have some bandages. The band aids are in the attic. I don’t advise them now.” The idea of hair stuck to the glue is horrendous. “And they won’t even work for a wound this size.”

She removes the saturated towel, wraps his head with lots of the bandage, and ties the ends. It still hurts, but does not bleed anymore. _ For now, I think. Couldn’t I get hurt in any other body part? _He has her increase the heater’s temperature in order to dry his clothes faster. Otherwise, he would need help changing, and asking for it sounds pretty suggestive. He closes his eyes in a meditative healing attempt. When he opens them, Reimu wrapped herself up in the blankets he left and scrabbles a puzzles magazine.

“Get some sleep. You’re still ill, remember?” She mentions a denial and a sneeze ceases it. “Don’t even start.”

“Gimme a break. Can you help me solve this?”

Rinnosuke squints his eyes to see the page she shows.

“These are the hard difficulty sudoku. You should start by the easy ones.”

“They’re all done. Is it a three or a nine here?”

“It’ll be easier if you keep the magazine on a place I can read it. My glasses were hurt as well.”

Reimu circles the table so that they can sit side by side. He drags himself a centimeter at a time. He feels a warm blood drop running down his ear and cleans it with the towel, that stains more than it removes, as red as it is. _ What a pain. I’ll have to clean up all this… Damn my motor coordination impairment. _He would love to pass out and wake up healed, but touching the wound against a pillow, even in the fifteenth sleep, is a huge con. The magazine goes by, a page after another; with a helping hand, the logic puzzles are fun and not frustrating. They spend afternoon and evening with the crosswords, those ones actually hard. Another meditation attempt ends up becoming a nap.

~

The room is dark and quiet; he can only see the heater lights. _ I’d be very happy if the world would turn slower, just for a second so that I can stand up, please and thanks. _ A hand on the wall makes him stabler, but not enough. _ Did I lose this much blood? _ He walks to the bedroom in baby steps. The door is half open and the hinges wake Reimu up. She asks what time is it, but he has no idea either.

“You can sleep here.” She covers the pillow with clean towels, definitely not the same from the bathroom. “By the way, earlier this morning… I mean, your sketchbook is here. I’ll put it away tomorrow.”

_ If you want some clue, that’s your chance. _

“You could’ve told me before. What were you drawing?”

She scratches her eye and yawns. _ Either she’s making up some lie, or thinking about how to tell me the truth. _

“I don’t think you’ll keep a secret.”

_ In the name of everything that’s holy, how difficult it is to reason with a head like this. What a time to be curious. _

“We could make a pact, then. A secret of mine for this one of yours. Deal?”

“Sounds fair. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Reimu helps him settle down in bed, as expected. She tucks him in, no surprise. Suddenly, she kneels by the futon and pets his hair in a messy fashion, followed by a moody “good night”. _ Maybe she just wants me to get better soon. _ He reaches for his magic lantern. _ My favorite creation… _ Rinnosuke, most of the time, uses it outside home at night, or as a lamp, set on a wooden box. Watching it light up brings him the same joy he felt when he made the sigil work and the same blues as always. He removes the belt bag and takes the dictionary out of it. “Pain: uncomfortable state and feeling, with varying degrees of intensity and form. Serves one as an alert of something’s wrong.” How to make it go away, however, will require some testing.


	3. Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT ALERT: This chapter has a suicide letter found by Rinnosuke on the Barrier. Don't read if you're sensitive to that kind of subject.

_ When is he comin’ back? I wanna leave soon. _ An old lady thanks her and leaves the shop with a kitchenware set. She is well rested, but the whole setting means boredom and she measures pros and cons of taking a nap. _ We’ve been open for three hours already, and that was the first customer. _ Even the book on fire spells, that seemed so sparkly interesting by its cover, is dragged down and complex; she thinks of returning it in stealth, but it was a great risk to get it, also, being found out in Patchouli’s library would make her worst nightmares come true. _ It’ll be fine-lookin’ in my shelf. _ She rests her head on the counter. The doorbell rings.

“You’re welcom- Oh. It’s you, Dad. How was grocery shoppin’?”

“Chilly. But it’ll make a great dinner.” He raises a couple of full grocery bags, to the point of almost ripping. “Wanna invite somebody?”

“Good idea. See ya later.”

“Catch it.” Marisa sees a jacket coming in her direction and it hits her in the face. “Don’t go around losing your ears.”

She leaves the store with a peaceful heart. _ Who could tell we’d ever talk again. _ The jacket’s collar reaches up to her face to repel the headwind. It is the first time since the week before she can fly on the broomstick. Gensokyo is a marvelous sight from above, no matter the season, or how many times she sees it. Houses and buildings start to scatter by the trail to the Hakurei Shrine. Instead, there are trees and mounts of snow, a new scenario that brights up every three months; well, at least, if nothing weird happens.

She climbs the familiar stairs, crosses the gates, and calls for Reimu, who does not answer. Again, and nothing. _ Perhaps she didn’t hear me. _ She opens the door and goes around checking the messy rooms. There is no firewood in the stove and the teapot is empty. There is too much snow around the building. _ It might be a mismatch, but it’s been days I don’t see her… And it’s been a while she isn’t back home. _She turns around and goes back to the village. No one knows, no one saw her, or it was before the last time they both met. Even if Reimu is sturdy enough to fight on her own, she would not get in trouble without giving Marisa an invitation.

On her way home, a while before the forest, something catches her eye. _ Is that the shop? _ She lands near a white mount, the snow in the roof barely apart from the floor’s. The attic is the only thing out of it. _ No bad in trying, also, if Kourin’s out, no bad either. But how will i get in? _ Digging with her hands is out of question, she has no tool, and is not up to date with telekinesis. _ It’ll have to be my style. _

She finds a spot that will not damage the house, or the marvelous goods inside. She stretches her arms, straightens her back, breathes in deep and shoots her ace up the sleeve. The multicolored laser beam sends the snow away and makes it a dense fog, that soon scatters on the floor. The beginning of the forest suffers from collateral damage, not enough for someone to complain, or so she hopes. The Kourindou’s front door opens anda a pair of curious eyes searches for the source of the noise.

“Marisa? Was that you?”

_ Just when I quit searching. _ She runs towards Reimu and jumps in for a hug.

“Where have you been?” Before Reimu can answer, she interrupts her. “Hey, what’s with these clothes? They’re not even your size.”

“I had a cold. Come in, it’s warm inside, I made tea… And I think I’ll need your help.”

Reimu pulls her by the hand. There are new products on the store’s shelves and Marisa would love to check them all. A jade-colored fountain pen rests on the counter. _ Wow, it’s way prettier than mine. _She’s fast to smuggle it into the jacket’s pocket and she hopes Rinnosuke will not miss it. Why is not he anywhere to be seen?

“He slept hours ago, I don’t know what to do”, Reimu says.

Even if it is morning, there is little sunlight in the bedroom. They both kneel besides the futon; Reimu turns his head with prudence and shows Marisa the blood stain on the bandages while she explains what happened. Marisa feels a hint of agony: it requires a serious wound to leave him like that. If she was on his shoes, she would not leave bed for a month.

“Well, at least, it stopped bleedin’ already. You can keep on holding my hand, just to start. I won’t mind.” Marisa smiled.

~

_ I’m going to die. We all do, but I feel it now. _ He wakes up grunting and trying to hold back a tear of pain. He can hear a bunch of sounds: voices, footsteps, doors that open and close. He can not understand the conversation. One of the people is Reimu, he can be sure of that. She comes back with something in hand and tells him to stay still, supporting his face with another hand and putting a wrapped thing on the wound. _ Snow, I guess. I hope so. _

As for the other person in the house… _ Marisa? How did she get in? _ Actually, questioning her skill to break into places is not a wise take. The bedroom has a half-open door, with an annoying gap that throws light at him, and soon he sees the shadow of his center table changing places. He closes his eyes and opens them a while later, on a weak try to wake up less stunned. 

“We’re keeping you company. Do you feel better?” Reimu asks.

_ Only if you think of life as a miracle. _ Marisa greets him on a quiet tone, too quiet given her usual, but equally cheerful.

“My head is about to explode anytime soon. Thanks for worrying.” More than suffering, his voice feels hoarse and he is dying of thirst. He tries with no success to reach for the lantern without moving much. “There is a bearable light here, if you don’t want to be in the dark because of me. How did I ever get to this point, if I may know?”

“What do you mean?” Reimu asks. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Marisa turns the lantern on, amazed by the sigils she might know well, and comments:

“It’s pretty common to have some memory loss after bangin’ one’s head. Check. Is that it, check?”

“Yep.” Reimu answers. He hears a dragging sound. _ Chess? I can see it coming. _ “There is also this one. Checkmate. I win.”

Marisa punches the table demanding a rematch and Reimu laughs while resetting the pieces. The louder the sound, the worst the wound will throb. _ I’ll never ever again disregard a human with a headache. _Soon, they exchange chess for checkers, coloring books, marbles and the not magic Magic Cube. They do not talk to him much, and he is thankful for that, except for when they bring him water. He tries to sleep in order to feel nothing, and it is a tough task, but he can do it.

Rinnosuke wakes up in the middle of the night on an unnamed hour and does not check the clock. The room is silent; either the girls went away, or they slept. Getting up on his own is a struggle in order to move his head as little as possible. When almost at the door, he trips and does not fall, a close shave. He hears a complaint and the sound of blankets moving. He reaches for the lantern and lights it up on the outside, leaving a door gap, and squints his eyes to see Marisa and Reimu sleeping… Way too close to each other. _ Did I just solve the letter’s mystery? _ He is not very sure of having answers or simply more questions.

_ Okay, now, don’t mess this up… _ Laying down is more complicated than it seems. _ Ouch. Dammit. _ He reaches Reimu’s head and pats her hair. _ She has a heart, in the end. Who would imagine? _

~

“Hey, the rice is going to burn.” Reimu draws her attention. “Leave this here and go take care of it.”

Marisa drops the book and sprints to the stove, complaining about no one helping her, about the cold, about having to work for her father. Everyone shuts their ears to it. _ Less accustomed eyes would think they hate each other. _ Rinnosuke laughs on his own; his head hurts, and he makes himself even quieter. _ Thank goodness it didn’t snow as much as yesterday. _ In a tag team, the girls unblock the Kourindou’s windows and other doors. _ Wait, why the scorched trees? _ Rinnosuke shrugs. The unusual and the random were rule when dealing with those two.

“Is it ready yet? I gotta go home.” Reimu mutters.

“It is to be served, miss Scarlet. Bon appetit.” Marisa arrives in a bad mood, balancing three bowls and three cups, making an impression of Sakuya. “I hope it is of your liking, I am now leaving, yadda, yadda.”

“She covers up for you and that’s how you repay her? Good to know…”

“Not that she’s hearin’. I mean, I hope she isn’t.”

_ I wouldn’t doubt it. _ He had already heard scary rumours on the Scarlets’ servant and was extra careful to treat her well in her occasional shopping. _ She doesn’t even seem human, to be honest. I’m not human, and she’s able to beat me to a pulp. _ A finger snap interrupts his train of thought. Marisa waves in front of his face:

“Kourin? I’m talkin’ to you.”

“Oh, pardon me. What did you say?”

“I asked if you’re openin’ the shop today.”

“Oh, that.” He fixes the bandages on his forehead. “I intend to do so. The sales increase by the end of the year because of the festival.”

“Isn’t it? My father says the same. He told me he’s settin’ a stand there. You should too.”

_ No, thank you. _ Spending too much time in touch with the villagers made both sides uncomfortable. It was not like Rinnosuke had wings or a taste for human flesh, but it has been a good half a century he did not grow any older. He changes the topic:

“I need to go grocery shopping. These were my last vegetables.” He looks at his own bowl of carrots, tofu, and bean sprouts. “Now, I have only-”

“I forgot ‘bout my father’s dinner!” Marisa interrupts him with a scream. “Yesterday was hot pot day. He’s gonna kill me…”

He gives up on calming down the sudden drama. Reimu is back from the kitchen without a clue of what is going on and cares very little, worrying more about dressing up for the cold. Inside the store, one could believe it is not winter.

“Chill. I’ll drop by and tell him what happened. Stay and keep an eye on him for today. You never know when something is pushing him down the stairs again.”

_ Don’t even joke about that. I already fall enough on my own. _

“It’s no use, he’ll have me work two turns. What do I do?” Marisa looks from one to another with crying eyes. Reimu is uninterested as always, putting on shoes by the exit.

“I don’t know. Make up for it later. Can I go?”

Marisa’s loud begging get her a skeptic goodbye hug from her friend. Reimu smiles, thinking no one is seeing her. _ Hmm… One more clue. _ As for him, he gets a handwave from meters apart. Rinnosuke gets up and starts putting things in order at a speed allowed by his headache. He asks for help here and there with the tallest shelves or heaviest objects. _ Oh, this is a new one. _ He pulls the metallic sphere from one of the sides of the decoration to see it move the one on the other far end, like a swing would do. The movement is hypnotizing. He flips the last pages of the catalogue and sees no register for that object. _ Wait, where’s my pen?... Yeah. _ A brief look to the last stair step, near the encyclopedia bookcase, gives him an answer; Marisa is picking up a volume to read. _ She’ll play dumb for sure. _ He uses the pen he keeps in his front pocket. “Newton’s cradle: one unit.”

The Kourindou breaks a selling record: amazing twenty products sold to nine customers in only an afternoon. It was more likely they came on the other days and found the store closed for reason of force majeure. Too many people made offers on the cherry tree paperweight, but it is not for sale. Marisa noticed its existence, much to Rinnosuke’s despair. _ I need to find a safe spot for this thing. Thankfully, it doesn’t fit her pockets. _ Different from Reimu, Marisa would rather spend her time reading and chatting instead of playing some game. It is way past the sunset when she decides to go home. 

“You can wear this.” Rinnosuke lends her a good, though worn out, winter jacket, not expecting it to be back to his wardrobe. “I doubt it fits, but it’s way too cold to be careless.”

“Wow, it’s so soft. Where did ya get it?”

“It’s not a happy story. I found it by the Barrier long ago, and it had a goodbye note in the inside pockets. It’s here somewhere.”

_ Here I am with another mysterious letter. _He searches one of his drawers and finds an old, yellowed envelope. He starts reading out loud what is on the letter.

_ “I chose this place hoping that no one would find me. I also hope no one even looks for me. Anyway, I leave these last words, just in case my plan does not go as expected. Go on with your lives. Leave your beds every day worrying about work’s goals and the tests’ grades. Waste your time thinking how ridiculous a person is, or if he or she really likes you. Chase a dream or just live a year after another. But, please, no matter your choices, forget my existence. _

_ I left all of my bills paid. I donated my savings and food for someone that needed it more than me. Get rid of my things; someone might want them. I would rather become a question mark than keep on being a burden. My only selfish desire is that I can watch over you all, wherever I end up. Especially you, Chihiro. You know I always loved you, and this is one of the biggest reasons for me to leave. _

_ See you in an incarnation where I am not a failure, _

_ Takumi.” _

“Ouch, I wish I hadn’t asked. Just seein’ the Saigyou Ayakashi will make me shiver…”

“We’ll never know what happened for real. That’s why I keep this note. Imagine the possibilities.” Rinnosuke ennumerates. “What are the reasons that he killed himself? Did anyone suspect he would do it? Did he really kill himself, or was it an attempted cover-up for a murder? Didn’t he just leave the jacket and disappear? Who’s Chihiro? Is it a man, or a woman? What kind of love was the author talking about? Did he end up in Gensokyo? Wasn’t it just a dark joke?”

“I didn’t know you liked mysteries, Kourin.” Marisa grabs the letter from his hands to run her eyes on it, folds it, and puts it back in the envelope. “It’s got no date. When did you pick it up?”

“What kind of suicide note would have a date on it?”

“An important one, of course. One from a wealthy person. Or a powerful one. Or… A divine one. I wouldn’t leave the play without leavin’ a milestone.”

_ I think you should look in the mirror more often, Marisa. _

“Makes sense. Go, before it gets even colder.”

“Hey, don’t go around kickin’ me out like that! I took care of you, y’know.” She sits on the broomstick, wears the jacket’s hood, and floats towards outside. “I’ll be back any day.”

“Be wary of the wind. See you.”

Rinnosuke’s pain goes from insufferable to inconvenient. Counting bills and coins is not the easiest task, but it is very much needed. As a coincidence, none of the customeres offered for a trade. The dictionary earns one more entry: “Patience: hybrid of feeling and attitude of tolerating, comprehending, and waiting.” The undeterred noise on the window pane is back. _ I could fit the piece of paper there just fine. It can’t be that I started doing everything wrong after banging my damn head. _He almost has a heart attack upon seeing a figure on the other side.

“Reimu? I have a door for that kind of thing.” He lets her in without overextending the scolding; it is freezing outside. “And this isn’t very much your doing. Your friend who’s specialized in alternative entrances left a while ago.”

She does not laugh or answer. _ Did they fight in this interval of just half an hour? _

“I thought you were staying home and resting because of the cold. Why the visit, in a time like this?”

“I…” She sighs. “I came to stand by what we agreed.”

_ What? _ It did not even occur to him such a strange, or abstract, or… Nonexistent reason. As she looks sad, he does not question her more and invites her in to sit.

“I didn’t return the table to the living room yet. Sit around it in the bedroom while I make us a warm drink.”

_ I can assert that I know more about that suicide note than I do about this now. _Reimu spends two cups of tea in silence and looking down. Any question Rinnosuke thinks of asking or thing he could say sounds offensive, but he needs to try something or they will remain quiet.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” He frowns and never regretted it harder. _ Ouch. _

She taps lightly her index finger on the side of the cup until she is brave enough.

“This afternoon, I went to the Kirisame shop. Marisa’s father shop, I mean. I went there to tell him she’d spend the day taking care of you.” _ Something went wrong. Very wrong. _ “The festival in the end of the year is close, so I thought about picking up a present for her, from your stock, something that she’s been wanting. And a letter telling her about… Being clear about some stuff. But someone was faster than me.”

_ So I was right about the letter and half right about the argument. _ He hopes not to make a surrendering facial expression.

“There was someone else’s letter on her table. From a month ago. It was Alice’s.” She punches the table way too hard. “They didn’t tell me a thing.”

He has the bad surprise of seeing her cry for the first time ever; she looks as hurt as she looks furious, and she tried to hold it back as much as she could. _ If this is embarrassing, it’ll be pretty easy to decide where to hit me. _ He reaches for her hand and touches it carefully, just over it, no holding. Nothing changes. Rinnosuke decides to circle the table and comfort her as he would do with a kid: with headpats. He is not sure if it is more unsettling seeing her so hurt, not having a clue of what to do, or the hug she gives him so suddenly. _ What a situation to be in. _ It has been so much since the last time he did it that he took a while to correspond the hug.

“I didn’t mean to look like a fool. Sorry.” Reimu dries her face with her sleeve. She barely has a voice. “I think it’s your turn to tell me something.”

“What would you like to know?” _ And why are you curious about me? _

“Something no one else has heard before.”

_ If being interesting is mandatory, it’s no use. _ Everyone knows he is a half-youkai. Everyone knows he spent part of his life in the Outside World, a blurred memory he had. Everyone knows he is more frequently stolen from than he sells something. His combat skills were poor and that was also of public knowledge. _ Damn it, my life’s an open book. I mean, there’s the Kirisame incident, but it’s not my secret and I don’t want to talk about it. _

“Hm, I… I’ve never had a girlfriend. Will that do?”

She laughs and the mood lightens. _ I didn’t ruin everything. Good. _

“Really?”, Reimu asks.

“Yes, really. Why the surprise?”

“I didn’t imagine it. I think I’ve never thought about it, honestly.” Reimu offers her hand with a raised little finger to seal an unexpected promise. “I swear I’m not telling anyone.”

_ To be honest, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. _Rinnosuke corresponds her gesture without understanding half a reason for that conversation. He just has a painful headache.

“If I can do something, please tell me. Even if it’s just… Listening. If that’s any useful.”

She nods and does not look at him.

“Can I sleep here today?”

“Leaving now would be already foolish enough. Listen, or instead, look out of the window.” The snowstorm is back. Its sound usually puts him to sleep in peace. “I wouldn’t kick you out of here, either.”

He picks up the duvets from the floor in order to improvise another mattress and is about to leave when Reimu calls him:

“Actually… You can stay in the bedroom. It’s fine. It’s cold in the living room.”

_ It was cold yesterday and before, not that you cared. _ He turns around, folds some blankets, opens others, closes the door and turns off the lights. He feels uneasy, but is not able to put his finger on the reason; something between too much physical contact and unpredictable circumstances. Lying down is great to the back and terrible for the head. _ Now, I look for the perfect sleeping position. _ He turns in such a way that his wound is upside. Nothing goes wrong.

As if it was supposed to be an accident, Reimu’s hand touches his own. She must be thinking he is already asleep. _ Is she afraid of me? I’m not very scary, I think. I’m nothing compared to the folks which with she hangs out. _ The Hakurei shrine has lots of youkai visitors and barely any humans; one of the groups directly scares off the other one. _ And that given she exterminates her visitors on her free time. _ If Reimu happened to be friendly from the beginning instead of punching first and asking questions later, he did not doubt in the slightest it would become a place alike to Byakuren Hijiri’s temple, on a lesser scale and a strange form. _ That aside, I understand people being afraid of there. It isn’t the calmest or most merciful god. _

He takes a good while to be sleepy, so that becomes a time to think back and forth. Marisa would lie as easily as she breathed, but they were all so bold-faced. How could she ever keep a secret for so long? _ Alice Margatroid, on top of that. I think I’ve never heard her voice. Hearing she has an interest on someone is pretty unpredictable. To be honest, given how clueless I am, I should expect anything. _ He brakes the train of thought in order not to drown himself in it and end up in a sleepless night. _ It all seemed ordinary until tomorrow morning. I just wasn’t sure about the affair and the letter. This year end will be quite a ride. _He holds Reimu’s hand without much of a reason and is able to fall asleep.


	4. Problem + Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I hope you like the chapter and the apparitions in Kourindou. heh
> 
> Now that I got rid of some Real Life™ things, this work will be updated WEEKLY on Fridays. Today's an exception because I've got some stuff to take care tomorrow, so have it earlier. I hope you like it.
> 
> In case you are a Portuguese speaker: the Portuguese version is finished and you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310255/chapters/50747368).

The alarm clock goes off and he turns it off with a slap. _ I should get rid of this thing. What an inhumane invention. _ If he had to rate his headache, it would receive a grade such as an occasional annoying visitor. He barely has time to serve himself some tea when someone knocks on his door several times.

“Mornin’, Kourin! I came to bring back your jacket.”

“Uh, good morning.” He picks up the garment without a question and thanks her. _ It might be a cursed object and I don’t even know it. _ “How was it with your dad?”

“He wasn’t very happy, but he sorta understood. Drop by to say hello later. How long has it been you don’t see each other?”

_ I don’t really count it. It leaves me with a heavy conscience. And why do I think you’re skipping work with him? _ He almost invites her in; he says goodbye and slams the door on her, giving an excuse of food about to burn on the stove. _ Close call. I was about to ruin everything. _ Marisa can rant all she wants. He runs to the bedroom in order to alert Reimu: she can hide or leave through the window, it does not matter. She is not there anymore. He silently approaches his drawing desk; there it is, the notepad. A red ribbon serves as a bookmark. _ It’s from her clothes. “Thanks for everything and sorry for the nuisance.” Who are you and what did you do to good old Reimu? _

He is back to the front of the house and opens the door to the visitor, or customer, or problem. Marisa gives him the stinky eye, asks nothing and sprints to the kitchen. She then starts to complain about anything and everything; Rinnosuke listens to it pretending to pay any attention. There goes his tea. Luckily, she brought along a good amount of rice crackers to share, as well as edible mushrooms.

“They don’t grow far from home… My home. You get it. I’ll try and bring something to make a hot pot here. Can I invite someone?”

“As you wish, but you wash the dishes.”

More protest to ignore. He leaves her be while he hides the fantastic paperweight far from cheeky hands. _ If the petals would fall from the tree, it would be even more marvelous. _ Marisa practice some anecdotes from a comedy book and rambles endlessly about what she has been studying. She is radiant with the results of her effort: she is now able to elaborate sigils of her own instead of copying them, also reading property symbols on objects.

“There is much controversy between authors, y’know? They argue between specializin’ on natural talent or balancing with hard work on what we ain’t good.”

“And what is your point of view?” _ If I practiced some more, I wouldn’t shut up about it either. _ The talk makes him nostalgic and also bothered.

“I think you become lazy with what you’re good at. It needs no effort, so, what’s the point on studyin’? But it isn’t always enough, see? It makes you feel like ‘oh, I can be a genius anytime, so, I’ll do it later’, and we never are for real.”

_ Nothing on Reimu until now. Marisa has no clue she found out about her relationship, so, in theory, everything is normal. _ The door opens and the only customer for the day shows up, almost on closing time. The white jacket with a furry collar covers her face up to her nose, but the harpins on her green hair show them who she is. _ Gensokyo has been lacking disciplined shrine maidens for a while now. _She looks around, ignoring some things and admiring others.

“Wow, it looks like my grandma’s store. Excuse me, do you have any drinks? One that tastes good when iced, please.”

_ How can she? It’s been below zero for a week. _

“Marisa, can you get up? There are products behind you.”

They start to chat and gossip as soon as they notice each other. Sanae chooses a canned coffee with milk and leaves it on the window’s ledge. Before he can stop it, they occupy his living room without a table under Marisa’s invitation. Rinnosuke plays mindlessly with the Newton’s cradle until something catches his ear.

“It’s rare to see you alone. Is Reimu okay?”

“She had a cold. Nothing serious, it’s gone already. What are you guys plannin’ for the end of the year?”

“It’s a surprise.” Sanae wears her sleeve as a glove to hold the coffee. “And to think I used to buy it across the street. Wanna try?”

Marisa invites him to join. _ One could think you’re at your own home. _ The shrine maiden asks lots of questions. _ Someone that will listen to me out ot their own will is news to me. _

“I’ve heard a lot about the shop before I came here myself, to be honest.” Sane makes an impression of many voices and facial expressions. “‘Don’t go, the road is full of youkai.’ ‘He’s the most unpleasant seller I’ve ever seen.’ ‘He’s dangerous, my second cousin’s acquaintance’s uncle said so.’ But there’s no soul around here with this cold, you’re not despicable and didn’t try to kill me. So far. I think.”

“Kourin?” Marisa laughs. “He can only kill you out of boredom.”

“Don’t you come to my shop searching for interesting goods very frequently, Marisa?”

“Oh, you once startled me and almost had a fireball thrown on your face.”

_ Congratulations for telling the truth once in your life. Next time, choose a more flattering one and don’t change subjects. _

“In my defence, you changed places of my chemical solutions the week before that. It was just payback.”

“But I was six, and you are…”

“Let’s not get into detail.” His head hurts. “You both were talking about the year end’s festival. Am I correct?

Sanae leaves the can on the floor and explains:

“Correct. The year end is a period of transition, in which people have their spirituality enhanced and more open. If someone intends to do something of the kind, either good or bad, the time is near.”

Marisa is restless; she looks everywhere around the shrine maiden. Rinnosuke asks what is wrong. She answers:

“She read it somewhere, I’m sure.” But Sanae noogles her head and tells her not to interfere.

“Well, as I said. It’s easier to affect people if they are within your range of action. I won’t lecture you on it, the range itself depends on many things. What I mean is: get everyone out of their houses, draw their attention to you and do what you gotta do.”

_ I knew it was beneficial, but not how or why. _If the Moriya Shrine has some plan, Reimu must do, too. He peeks outside through a curtain’s fret.

“It stopped snowing. If you want to leave before sundown, it’s time.”

Sanae leaves some change and finishes paying for the coffee with an Outside World pocket knife, that she flatters on and on. _ She’s not exaggerating, it’s really good. _ Barely touching a finger on the blade will cut, it has a retractable blade and all metal parts are iridescent.

“You know, the threats we have here are kind of bigger and noisier. I don’t need it anymore.”

_ The biggest danger to humans outside is their own species. What an irony. _

Kourindou is silent for the first time in days. Not the short pause in a conversation or the entertained sound of flipping pages. Something heavier, and suffocating. He looks for the disputed paperweight in its hide. _ I see the trees outside and feel like winter is going to last forever. It doesn’t even look like images like this one are real. _ He tries lighting up the lantern behind the sphere and it is a joy to the eyes. The colors of the cherry tree are even more lively; it is like it existed outside of the glass. _ Is art a form of magic? I think I can become an artist. But I wouldn’t like to die in the process, since it might not end quite well. _ The story behind the Saigyou Ayakashi taught him a lesson. _ Was it as beautiful as this one? _ He makes dinner, eats and sleeps thinking of cherry trees.

Rinnosuke wakes up freezing in the middle of the night just to find out the heater ran out of fuel. _ What a damned hour for this to happen. Yukari intends to wake up in March. _ He rubs his face with a rand and grumbles incomprehensible things. “Problem: obstacle or hindrance on one’s way to reach a goal.” He takes note of it on the dictionary with a handwriting he might not be able to understand later. He catches on a sudden memory and turns off the alarm clock; he does not have the slightest will to get up early. He throws three duvets on himself and chatters from the cold for a while.

He loses sleep at seven in the morning, but refuses to leave bed. He does not wish to indulge in the run of bad luck. _ If I stay still for enough time, this curse will think I died and will go away. _ His stomach hurts of hunger and he gets up grudgingly. Not even the stove is able to warm up the kitchen. _ How come? Everything’s closed. _

“Hello, is anyone there? Good morning.”

He falls on his back; his head shakes and he can not hold back a bad word. He hears a muffled laugh. The other person comes closer, apologizing. A cold wave comes together.

“You seem to be hurt, but I don’t think it was my fault. How do I turn the lights on?”, she says. Rinnosuke points at the light switch. “Do you need any help?”

“If you please. You’re welcome… Even if it’s early to open the store.”

Yuyuko checks out the pans with rice and miso broth.

“I expected some more variety. Don’t you eat other things?”

“Only when I can go out to buy them.” He points at the bandages.

“I see. After some turnarounds in life, I sort of lost that kind of worry.”

_ Two shrine maidens, a magician, and now, a thousand-years old ghost that can make me drop dead in an instant. My store is a magnet of one-of-a-kind intruders. _

“I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I didn’t expect any customers before opening time.”

“Actually, there isn’t much of an excuse for me to be here. I left for a walk, I didn’t see the closing sign… Then I thought: either he has nocturnal habits, or he won’t notice me in.”

“The sign isn’t there?” He asks. She shook her head. “I’m sure of having pinned it.”

“You should check how windy it is outside.”

He does and holds his breath for a second. The decorations in the back of the store shake furiously. _ It was on a night like this that Reimu showed up here. I wouldn’t leave even if I was healthy, and she barely breathed through her nose. _ His shivering reminds him of the heater out of fuel and the solution to it is distracted shaking a bamboo spoon. He serves her a generous portion; maybe, just maybe, the way to her help is through her stomach.

“You look worried.” She comments. “Don’t tell me you have your head on the clouds…”

_ I don’t, but I know someone who does. _ He hopes the food will warm him up, even if just a little.

“I, indeed, have a problem to solve. Maybe you have noticed the store’s temperature.” He circles the air with a finger. “My heater has stopped working.”

“No, I didn’t notice a thing. Is it broken?”

“I need to fuel it. It doesn’t burn with firewood or coal, like the ones from Gensokyo. It’s from the Outside World and runs on kerosene.”

“Kerosene? I’ve seen Yukari with some weird gallons that smelled terrible. Is it what you’re talking about? She also told me of taking it somewhere.”

“Probably. But I highly doubt she’ll show up here this time of the year.”

“It’s not that hard getting something from her. Just offer her an interesting trade.”

_ You talk like she isn’t scary. _ And just as scary memories come up to him. Yuyuko’s bowl is empty and she asks for a second. Rinnosuke tries:

“I believe you’re right. Perhaps it sounds strange to ask for it, but I would like your help. As you can see, I got hurt in a domestic accident. It wouldn’t be good to walk such a long and dangerous distance. If it is a nuisance, I can find another way to-”

“Nuisance? No, no way. I’ll do that for you.” She interrupts. Rinnosuke can breathe easy and thanks any supernatural being that cared for him. “I would just like a retribution. Simple matter.”

_ There is no such thing as a free lunch. Or free warmness. _ The skin around his wound itches; he feels the need to wash his hair as soon as possible, but any idea of soap on the injury makes him reconsider. He asks?

“And what are we talking about?”

“You’re a great cook, for real. I’ll drop by in the afternoon for a snack. Deal?”

He looks at the rice mountain on Yuyuko’s bowl, and she eats it at an insane speed. _ Well, at least I got a compliment, and not just any compliment. _

“Deal. I don’t have anything like a plan, so tell me now if you don’t like an ingredient or another.”

“My preference is for good food. Nothing else matters.”

The choice of Yukari’s offer hurts: the coffee machine and the ground beans. She would not refuse such fantastic merchandise. Rinnosuke, on the other side, expects for a generous amount of kerosene, that would last for years, maybe. Yuyuko bids farewell and heads to wherever her friend hides. _ It’s a shame I was freezing. She’s good company. _ Even if his healing wound makes him cautious, he spends quite a while in the bathtub.

The wind is not as intense anymore around noon. He closes the store, puts on two jackets, a knit bonnet, and leaves. In that weather, not even the grocery vendors are outside. It is not enough to think of a dish or two: he chooses ingredients for a hot pot with Marisa’s mushrooms, ramen, soup, and meat dumplings. Someone calls for him from his back.

“You shouldn’t leave without fully healing.” Reimu carries a straw basket with two sweet potatoes on her shoulder while she throws a fruit in the air.

“Good to see you too. I’d like that tangerine, if you happen to be just playing with it.”

“No, I’ll take it.” She puts it away in the basket. “Wow, so much food.”

“Let’s say it’s for a favor dinner. A hungry apparition… Appeared home. As idiot as it sounds.”

She chooses a bunch of dried plums from a stand. _ Oh. The comb I gave her. _ The lively colored plastic flowers contrast with her dark hair. She comments:

“You didn’t fix your glasses yet? It’s strange to see you without them.”

“I didn’t even remember it, and it’s no use remembering now. My money won’t be enough.”

The sunlight outside of the shop is pale and heatless, but obfuscating due to the snow. Reimu takes the shopping bags from his hands; way too much weight for someone convalescent, she says. Her semblant is tired and she has deep dark circles under her eyes. He notices many peeks at the new sake bottle. _ I doubt I can control how much she drinks. _ Until they get to Kourindou, Rinnosuke has time to explain to her the deal he made with Yuyuko.

“Well, if dinner is gonna be that great, I’m staying.” Reimu shrugs.

_ I didn’t invite you, but I was going to, so, whatever. _ She does not behave that differently… compared to before the visit through the window. She is back to ignoring what he says, does what she pleases, rummages through the products. No venting, or ranting, not even indirect ones. He treats her with safe politeness. Reimu carries the center table back to the living room and does most of the hard work in the kitchen; with some guidance, the dishes are as tempting as if he made them himself. Each and every louder noise makes him jump, thinking it is the door. _ If Marisa shows up here, Reimu can’t blame me. There is a risk. _ And he has no clue of what would happen. _ “Secret: an information shared by few people, and that is supposed to stay like that in order to keep being a secret” _ , he takes note on the dictionary. The dark cover gained an almost invisible blood stain. _ I can’t believe I’ve slept on top of this. _

“Hey, you, the gallons don’t cross walls. Reimu? I didn’t know you were coming, too.” Yuyuko is half inside the kitchen. Rinnosuke unlocks the house’s back door. “Where do I leave this?”

“In the storage. This way, please”, he guides her.

The center table is too small for so many dishes, but the result makes them proud. With the heater back on, the presence of a ghost is not a problem anymore; the alcohol is also comforting and an invitation for a chat. Yuyuko raises the question:

“We didn’t toast. It’s a shame we’re not celebrating anything. Any idea?”

_ To the most untimely accident? _ He laughs up his sleeve. _ Reimu isn’t in a very festive mood. _ However, Reimu herself surprises him:

“To the year to come.” _ I must admit that was a good one. _ They touch cups to her suggestion.

“By the way, Reimu, do you have any news of the festival?” Yuyuko asks. “Not that I’m in need of a blessing for long living or something, but I never miss the food stands.”

“Nothing.” Reimu shook her head. “It’s always at the evening because of the fireworks and it’s been snowing so much… We can’t count on the weather.”

“It’s not that difficult, though. Just stop the blizzard for a night.” _ “Just”? Not everybody is a thousand years old and that powerful at will. _ He sips the cup again and does not interrupt Yuyuko. “Sure, you gotta talk to the right person.”

_ There is a good bunch of capable, curious creatures around. Rinnosuke Morichika, the unmoving used goods seller and lord of the poor motor skills. Is that respectable? _ He speaks for the first time in a good while of conversation:

“Who do you have in mind?’

“That problematic one. What’s her name? The one that messed up the seasons and covered my mansion with snow.”

“Tenshi?” Reimu suggests.

“Yes, her. If she can make it snow, maybe she can stop it, too. But I’m not going after her. I mean, just the festival’s food is my business.”

“My turn to do something, then.” Reimu yawns. “If she demolishes my house again, what do I do?’

“Same as ever: teach her a lesson the hard way.” Yuyuko smirks and a shiver goes up Rinnosuke’s spine. _ I can almost forget how threatening she is. _

None of both girls stayed for the night. All alone again, Rinnosuke decides to read more seriously a first-aid guide that he just glossed over and that got lost in the bookshelf limbo. The open wounds section is pretty useful for next times. The book is simple, intuitive, illustrated, and has big letters: perfect for emergency cases. The pages go one after another, in a fun read, even if somewhat morbid. One of them, however, makes him go back many times to the beginning. _ Malnutrition symptoms… Stained, fragile nails, low immunity, bad healing in general, dark circles, difficulty on keeping up body heat. _ The book goes on and on about more severe cases. He connects the dots and the conclusion leaves him with a sore heart. _ She’ll have to forgive me for the intromission, I need to do something. _

**~**

It is too early and too cold to see anyone on the streets. The longest path has the less snow on it. The new skin around the healing wound on his head hurts to the smallest touch of the wind; he covered it with the bonnet again. He thought of being quick and low-profile, not even telling her he showed up and go back to open the store. _ I can’t do that. I can’t be one more of the absent people. _ In his bag, the coins in the envelope clink.

The night before, Rinnosuke went to bed with questions: why bother doing that? If he did the math, Reimu was supposed to sell the shrine to its last wood piece to pay for all the things she shoplifted from Kourindou. She ate his food. She drank his tea. She wasted his coffee, she did not have a care in the world for how things were organized there, and, different from the Kirisame family, she had no former apprentice relationship to him, let alone something enough to charge him for favors and gratitude. Even her shrine maiden tools and clothes were a fruit of his hours of work, research, trial and error. He owed her nothing. It was the opposite.

Or did he? He did not remember taking care of the wound on his head, and how he ended up tucked in the futon was a mystery, just as the accident itself. And that was not all of it. Despite her indifference, mild rudeness, greed, and getting into every sort of problem due to being nosy, deep down, Reimu wished to protect that land and people. She lived all alone in an almost deserted shrine, whose neighbor was a sinister deity that not even she knew for sure. She carried a weight on her shoulders since she was born. The winter scared away both the friendly youkai and the occasional devotee, sources of donations and company. _ I’ve seen her groceries. No wonder why she got that cold. _ As soon as he started walking the path to the borders of Gensokyo, he rebutted his own question: why stop himself from doing that?

Reimu climbs down from the roof and greets him with tools in hand. _ Besides, she’s been crying. There’s no way to hide such red, swollen eyes. _

“There’s a drip on top of the altar. I had to clean the snow. Wait just a moment, I’m going to the shed.”

_ The scenario here is so pale this time of the year. _ A cold gust removes the hood from the top of the bonnet. _ What a meaningless thing to wear both. _ The washed-out grey jacket may have belonged to an Outside World suicidal man, but it is warm and cozy.

“What a rare sight to see you outside home.” She tidies her hair and clothes. “Anything wrong?”

_ Not with me. _ He gives up on justifying the long reasoning and the mismatched words. Charity was never a habit.

“No, nothing wrong. Please, accept this.”

Reimu acts as she had seen Yukari showing up from his hands. She takes a while to pick up the long envelope, but she puts it in her pocket instead of the donation box and thanks him in a reserved manner, hiding her true heart very poorly.

“I’m taking a rest, if you wanna join.” She says. “I’ll make some tea.”

Even if the shrine has no heating source, staying indoors is enough to avoid the wind. Feeling the hands unfreeze is one of the best things in winter. He tries neutral topics: food, books, science, history. Reimu is not her old self as the night before. There is something with her manners with him that he can not comprehend. Solicitude? Politeness? Sheer interests in another donation? He would rather believe she is genuinely happy. _ It’s like she has a face for the world and another one few have the chance to meet. _ If she does it on purpose is a good question. As the conversation goes on, she seems to be on the edge of saying something and shying away from it, until she is brave enough to do so:

“This situation has been a nuisance. I mean, the festival thing.” _ Of course that’s not the whole story. _ She goes on. “If the New Year comes and it doesn’t happen, things can get out of handle.”

“What kind of out of handle are we talking about?”

“Buildings collapsing, fires, misunderstandings, youkais, ghosts… Accidents. Well, you’d better go, too.”

Rinnosuke stares at her with disapproval; she laughs. _ It’s a shame it’s indeed true. _ He sits with a straight back on the wall, and he allows himself to enjoy the feeling. He asks:

“How do you intend to solve the problem?”

“Finding Tenshi is a good idea. I just don’t know how. I’m not used to… Doing everything on my own. It’s not that easy.”

_ She misses Marisa in more than a way. I think they don’t meet since that day in the store. _

“So, you need me, I believe.” They look at each other until it is embarrassing. “No, that’s not it. That’s not what I mean. Maybe you misinterpreted it. I know the right time is important to the blessing, so I thought maybe my help could make things quick, so, if I can do someth-”

Reimu touches his forehead with an unknown hand gesture.

“Chill. Breathe in… Breathe out.” They both do not move a single muscle. “Now. Go on.”

He cleans his throat and rethinks his words. She still has her hand there.

“Well. I thought it was a complicated task. So, I wanted to… Collaborate. Even if it’s not my obligation. I can talk to someone or gather evidence. If I can. If it’s needed.”

_ I wasn’t so ambiguous now, I think. _

“I see. And why this commotion?”, she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You started spitting words and words out. Take it easy.”

“Oh. About that…” _ I can’t stop holding the idiot ball. _ “I’m really sorry.”

Reimu is back to her seat with a both disappointed and amused expression.

“Do I look offended?”

“To be honest, yeah.” He frowns. She changes her face to a blank slate. “Not anymore.”

_ Mankind works in mysterious ways. _ He watches her move her cushion to another place and laying with her head on it. _ I don’t even know if she wants my help or not. I mean, not kicking me out is a good sign. _

“Doing what’s right and protecting Gensokyo…” _ Is she talking to herself? _ “There wasn’t a day I didn’t have this role.”

Without caring if he is there, she opens the envelope. Instead of counting the money, she pulls the red ribbon she left with the note the night she trusted Rinnosuke very suddenly with her secrets. Reimu spends a while wrapping it around her fingers and staring at it as if it was something marvelous.

“I thought you would want it back.” He justifies.

More silence. She lets her arm down. The fraction between thinking of apologizing and doing it is enough for Rinnosuke being interrupted:

“Thanks.” She says.

_ It’s the same tone she had that day. _ Making her cry is the last thing he wants.

“Do you want me to leave?” Rinnosuke asks.

She gets up and walks to the window. Staring at the snowfall seems more interesting to her than ending the uncertainty.

“I’m going shopping.” She turns around. _ This is the saddest smile I’ve ever seen. _ “Are you coming?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love translating this work because it's full of idioms and has a diverse vocabulary. But, just in case, if this chapter or any other could be improved in that matter, please feel free to leave a comment. If you wanna talk about other aspects of the fic, I'm also open for constructive criticism. Don't be shy, I was once a beta reader, so, if you'd like to criticize me, I've been in your shoes before. See you next week.


	5. Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays! It's a bit anticipated, but... Well. In case you don't receive any gifts, this is mine for you. Also, if you think about it, this is an end of the year fic, so the timing is pretty on point, even if there isn't even snowfall in my country.
> 
> I was looking forward for the time I would post this chapter because I really like the headcanons I explored here and the topics it covers. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
> 
> Also, there's a meme by the end of the chapter. Try to spot it.
> 
> In case you are able to read in Portuguese, the Portuguese version is finished and you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310255/).

_ “The Changeable North Compass is an artifact that tracks objects, people, animals, living beings, and places of any kind. In order to make it work properly, its user must open it and hold it in a hand while, with the other hand, one connects the compass to a reference object. The more related to the adaptable North the reference is, the more accurate the compass will be. However, self-protection spells, barriers, and invisibility may affect the result. The compass’ interactions with beings and objects of extraordinary power is full of contradictions: it might be very efficient, or not work at all. It is not needed for the maker of the compass to indicate other cardinal points in the compass. For better efficiency, previous mental exercises, especially the ones focused on property comprehension, are recommended.” _

The illustrations after the introduction paragraph show different suggestions on formats, sizes, and decorations, as well as some diagrams. There are more and less generalist models: a leaf-shaped one for plants, a chest-shaped one for everyday objects, a compass with a drawing or picture of someone inside it. Rinnosuke has not been making anything for a while, so it is more exciting by the minute. _ “It is an instrument of complex and refined making, that might take a month in order to be used.” There goes my brilliant idea. _ He closes the book and lets himself fall to the ground. A bit of lethargy will make the resentment go away. _ What else? _

Arriving Heaven on foot is not impossible. The people of the mountain would not bother him anyway, and even less in a weather like that. The Celestials’ hospitality was also famous, if the visitor had no intentions on moving there. _ No, thanks. I like my home. _ What about the snowstorms, then? The steep climb? What if Tenshi was not there? _ I’m starting to believe I won’t solve this with my own hands. _ Who to ask for help, though, is more like a checklist than like a tough kind of effort. The list ends up including Marisa, who is more up to date with any magic than he is, and Aya as a second option, if chasing after a rumour is needed. Patchouli is a maybe, just in case nothing works, but Rinnosuke himself would rather stay away from the Scarlet mansion. _ “Direction: guidance, route, way chosen for one to follow”, _ he takes note. _ How ironic it would be if “destiny” is the next word. _

When he dresses up for the first try, he risks carrying the bonnet in the belt bag instead on the top of his head. The wound is not swollen anymore and hurts a lot less to the touch. He chooses the comedy book as an end of the year present for Marisa. She almost always tries to take it away discreetly, anyway, it will make things easier and a gift in a proper period will not do harm. Rinnosuke barely remembers to pick up his broken glasses, in order to find out what to do with them later. Outside, he keeps the “Sorry, we’re closed” sign as it is, with a slight alteration. On the opposite side of it, he attaches a note with the message _ “I left to help you” _ . He even had the work to color in red the visible part. _ She’ll get it if she shows up here. _

The wind is not as strong, but walking on the snow is a pain. The forest does not behave all the same: each tree suits itself on following the season, keeping their leaves, or bearing fruit. The thicket makes him turn on the hand lantern. Each whisper, laugh, or call he hears cause him to shiver, to be in doubt, or both. They might be real, they might be not; the land of illusion does not take its name for granted. _ There are too many fairies. _ All of a sudden, the herd looks at one another, argues, and leaves to somewhere else.

It is hard to make sense of their conversation, even moreso of where they are going to, amongst so many high-pitched voices and wings flapping that leave him dizzy, but Rinnosuke can notice the words_ “quick, hurry up” _ and _ “we’ll lose sight of her” _ . A lack of attention paid otherwise on the sinuous path results on him tripping and he freezes for a second, grabbing a branch with much more strenght than it was needed. _ I barely recovered from a fall, it’s enough for a while. _ A glade shows itself in the end of the trail, covered in snow as the rest, and the icy fairies go back to the tree crowns, chatting and giggling as they always do. There are footprints on the way to Marisa’s house, from a different route as the one he took. _ Oops. Is it a bad time? _

Ringing the doorbell is of no use. From some corner of the house, he hears the like of a muffled dialogue. He does not dare to try his way through the amount of stuff and junk there is and suits himself near the entrance. _ That hanged flag there used to be mine. Right. Used to. _ The conversation sees no time to cease and Rinnosuke sighs. He tries opening and closing the door lots of times until Marisa comes out of the bedroom tidying herself. She greets him, also questioning about the visit.

“I can come back later, if it’s an inconvenient hour.” He frowns.

“Nah, come on. Did somethin’ happen?”

_ How do I address the matter without ruining everything? _ He has an insight and, so, the answer. _ Being myself, of course. _

“I’ve been thinking that creating some debts would be a good idea.” Marisa stares at him without understanding a word. “One can’t predict the weather this time of the year. If I could guarantee a way to control it and make the festival viable in any circumstance, all people directly interested would start to be in account for me… Including the important ones. Is it clear now?”

“I dunno how do I get into this, but I’d rather talk sittin’ down. Can you give me just a sec and wait for me in the kitchen?”, she asks.

“If you show me how do I get there without breaking anything.”

Marisa leaves water for boiling and runs back to the bedroom. _ It’s strange. I can’t really hear the fairies’ racket from inside the house. _ The room remembers an illustration from some Western book. He distracts himself rolling a beetroot from the fruit bowl, from a side to another on the table. _ The evil witch’s kitchen? _ The idea makes him chuckle. His hostess is, indeed, full of nonsense, but she is far from making a soup out of kids in a cauldron. The beetroot falls to the ground in a harder push, near the leg of the chair. Before he can pick it up, a marionette appears and does it. Its puppeteer is right behind it, moving the doll’s hands to give the root back to Rinnosuke.

“Hey, be careful. Maybe I’ll make lunch out of it.” Marisa comes from the corridor with a sweet bread in her arms. “Do you guys know each other?”

“I bought an interesting item in his store once.” Alice rolls the puppet’s strings. “That round nebula bottle.”

_ Is she ignoring me? _ A bit of regret comes from selling that item. It was an incredible thing, covered with a metallic net. The liquid inside shone in many colors when one shaked it. While the girls argue, Alice sits by the table as Marisa serves tea and says:

“I saw it days ago, remember?”

“Of course.” Alice has a bored expression. “You tried to open it and the content covered all my study room.”

“How would I know a liquid would become a gas like that? It’s ain’t my fault-”

“Gas?” He interrupts Marisa. “I know for sure the Outside World has fascinating objects, but I thought their technology was only enough to make the nebula liquid.”

“Oh, that’s simple.” Marisa shrugs. “It ain’t from the Outside World.”

_ I have a feeling she knows where does this bottle came from. _ The tea they drink is red and sour, of no flavor he can recognize, and it is a good pair with the sweet bread. Marisa asks again about why did he go there, spitting some crumbs. _ I can’t blame her, it’s really tasty. _

“That day in the shop, with the wind shrine maiden, you might recall it. The festival has to happen and there must be a date for it. My idea is to find a way to create a safe date regarding the weather every year. Not precisely on the same day of the month, it would be unnecessary, but within this proper time period. And it’s is superhuman for me to do it alone.”

“Superhuman?” Marisa asks. “You gotta look in the mirror more.”

_ Nice argument. You also left the good manners behind. _ He can not tell if Alice was bothered by the comment.

“Anyway, I know who can provide me that, and that you could help.” He sighs.

“And who’re we talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Tenshi Hinanawi.”

Both girls exchange tired looks. _ Well, can’t blame. Even I didn’t like the earthquakes back then. _ Marisa breaks the ice with a smile from ear to ear.

“It’s been a while, right? But I get it. It’s real hard to know where she is.”

“What do you mean?” Rinnosuke asks.

“She thinks Paradise is so boring, and so she travels ‘round and ‘round. I even waved to her months ago, see? When she flew above my home.”

“I have a suggestion.” Alice joins the conversation. “A local tracking spell would work in this case.”

“What if she crossed the border?” Marisa inquires.

“I doubt it. Her and Yukari don’t get along.” Rinnosuke pours some more tea. “Let’s work in that train of thought, then. Our problem is another one: we need a symbolic object. A jewel, a trinket… Something of that kind.”

“We’ve got nothin’ like that.” Marisa rests her face on her hand and asks Alice. “Has she ever lost her hat?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe it would be good to use your grimoire notations.”

“One more object will give us a good location.” Marisa thinks and thinks. For a while, there were only sips of the tea and munches on the bread, until herself broke the silence with a shout. “I know it! How about peaches?”

“Where are we finding peaches this time of the year?” Alice stares at her with boredom.

“Actually, I can solve that.” Rinnosuke raises a finger. “I have a peach-flavored product in stock. If we unite both sources, it increases the accuracy.”

“Makes sense. And how are you going to pay us for it?” Alice asks.

_ Saying I didn’t expect that won’t do. _ He hesitates on looking at her until he comes up with a good offer.

“Four books for each, up to your choice, since you don’t undo a full collection. You can also take a full set.”

The girls look at each other, and, for a while, he thinks of giving up. _ My books… _ Then, they accept it. _ It’s done. _ He sighs in relief, and can not tell if it has a bit of regret to it. Reimu appears in his mind, with her lost eyes, thinking of many difficult things she has to solve. _ Sometimes, the reasons get lost along the way. _ He brushes it off as if it was an annoying bug; Marisa and Alice pack up to leave home, talking about the details of it and chatting without including him. As he tries to comment on something, they pretend not to hear it, with the exception of telling him they will pick up materials in the Human Village.

With open doors, the world looks like another one. The surroundings go back to having ambient sounds and life of their own, contrary to Marisa’s hot mess. Luckily, there is just a little snow, gentle and without any wind.

“So you’re outside in a weather like this?” Alice says to nobody. “What a bad boy. Go home soon.”

_ Is there anybody else here? _ He hears a meow. Alice kneels to pick up a big cat, a long-haired orange one, with golden eyes the same color as Rinnosuke’s.

“You can play with him if you want.” She says.

He takes a while to notice that she, in the end, addressed him. He picks up a branch and shakes it to the feline’s face, whose pupils grow on spot. His owner sets him free to run after his pretend pray, and Rinnosuke notices the two tails the cat has. _ It’s a youkai cat. Hmm. What does he eat? _ His bell collar clinks in the glade. While he has some fun, Rinnosuke catches a sight of Marisa talking to a trio of fairies and he swears he can see a hint of a smile on Alice’s face, for whatever reason that might be. _ It’s strange to think someone so reserved wrote what Reimu said she read. _ Both girls reunite for leaving, Alice’s pet headed home, and Rinnosuke has a sudden realization; he lets the present out of the bag.

“This one’s on me, Marisa.”

On their way to the village, any subject is covered with shades of euphoria. _ I was right. There was no better choice. _ He only notices where they are when the doors of the store seem too… Familiar. _ How long has it been? _ Marisa’s father had some new wrinkles and grey hair, but is just as tall and broad, with a resting angry face and a huge smile for contrast. He widen his eyes to see Rinnosuke, even more than Alice’s cat did on the sight of the toy.

“That’s a face I don’t see in a while.”

_ And there comes the bone-breaking hug. _ He sees no escape and reciprocates. _ I see where did Marisa’s effusiveness came from. However, as for the height… _ He lets Rinnosuke go and has a brief chat with his daughter, and she heads to the study with Alice. Mr. Kirisame floods him with questions: what he has been doing, how is his health, what happened to his head, how are the sales going, the weather that will not give them a break. He dodges carefully the most delicate issues: the full story with footnotes would get him in trouble. A customer comes in, and, behind the counter, Rinnosuke distracts himself playing with a Chinese charm on the wall. The less he is seen by villagers, the better.

“Do you have some time to see what to do with this?” He gets his tattered glasses in the belt bag after the customer heads to another part of the shop. “I don’t believe it can be helped much.”

“Well, I’m no specialist, but it does look like there’s no fix. Here, choose some of my frames. A gift for the end of the year.”

“Are you sure?” Rinnosuke asks. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not refusing it…”

“I insist. You are family to us.”

Rinnosuke shrugs and spends quite a while trying on the new models in front of a metallic vase that distorts his image. He chooses a similar pair as his previous one, but finer and more elegant. _ They suit me fine. _ The customer is back with a product and he freezes in place, as if he was part of the furniture. _ If it is who I think it is, it’s no use. She’s seen me long before. _In spite of the troublesome situation, the conversation between the two sellers sets in after she is gone, on lots of topics. When they finish, there is an uncomfortable silence left.

“For how long will you try to cover it up, huh?”, Mr. Kirisame asks.

“Cover up?” The question takes him by surprise. “I don’t know what are you talking about.”

“Just kidding. Actually, I’m curious. Y’know, with this daughter I have, I developed quite a nose for tall tales, and I think you ain’t telling me the truth. At least, not all of it.”

“Marisa has been planning a pretty safe procedure, if that’s your worry. The risks are minimal and there’s only the chance she’ll set something on fire accidentally.” _ She can for sure, but that’s beside the point. _

“No, that’s not what I mean. I know how those things work.” His gaze is suddenly lost and his face changes, as if he was trying to forget something. _ I know, right. _ “It’s more like… I doubt that this endeavor comes from your own initiative. It’s not your thing. See?”

_ How the hell does he know? It looked convincing to me. _

“Indeed, it’s not. Can we talk in the kitchen? I know the girls are in the study room, but it’s a private matter. I’d like that you kept it as a secret.”

“If you say so. Let’s go and have a steaming cup of tea.”

_ I’m not hungry or thirsty, but in this weather, it would be a sin to deny it. _ Differently from Marisa’s creative mixes, her father serves them green tea with the same rice crackers she took to Kourindou. _ I almost feel home, ten years ago. _He keeps his voice down to avoid any tensions:

“So, to what really happened. I’ve been… Helping the Hakurei shrine maiden. It’s one of her duty tasks for Gensokyo’s safety. I’d like to omit the reasons for it, since they’re related to her personal life-”

“Oh, I understand your worries.” _ I didn’t know that. _ Mr. Kirisame stares at him over the cup of tea, something that would make Rinnosuke distressed if he did not know his former boss. “Marisa left home, but once a dad, always a dad. I noticed they had something, and, as you might mean, they don’t have it anymore. Reimu would show up here at times. They looked like a single person, hand and glove. This will be some work to you.”

_ I know quite well. _ He gives a half smile and his wound on the head itches like never before.

“See, it looks like yesterday I still carried my daughter in a single arm. They grow up so fast.”

_ A sad and short journey, one of every living human. Or maybe it’s just my point of view. _ Remembering it is unpleasant, but it haunts him sometimes. The doorbell rings again. Mr. Kirisame excuses himself to tend to the customer. Rinnosuke spies him from afar and is surprised by the quick return of his friend. _ Caught in the act. _ He does not try to shrug it off.

“Nah, don’t worry, I myself had my nose into your business. I sold her the wrong product. I mistook the two kinds of mirrors I had.”

“And why would you sell two kinds of mirrors?”, Rinnosuke asks.

“One of them was made of gold, the one I sold her. You know the difference, right?” The store owner returns to the table, with his mild good mood as before.

“The most common ones are made of silver. It’s not necessary to know much more to deduce the rest.”

“By any chance, did you see who was that customer? Maybe you can see her from the window on the right.”

Many meters ahead, a spot with a dark dress walks on the snow, her hair the same color as the floor. _ It was indeed the Scarlet Servant. Does she even feel cold? _

“She bought some things in Kourindou before.” Rinnosuke squints his eyes and notices that the wind started blowing outside. “She’s not a rare sight, but I doubt her purchases are for her own use.”

“Me too. If you’ve heard about vampires’ problems with silver, you connect the dots and unveil the mystery.”

_ Makes sense. _ If the rumours are true, Remilia is dangerous, hedonist, and unpredictable as all youkais use to be, but vain enough to desire seeing her own image on a reflection. _ It might be just for the entertainment of telling her servant to go shopping in the middle of winter, which wouldn’t make much sense to me anymore. _ He changes topics and comments on the compass, his initial idea. Even if cautious on talking about magic, Mr. Kirisame claims to know that kind of object.

“I have one to find my tools. The irony is losing some of them while I made the compass.”

“I try to be organized and the same happens to me all the time.” Rinnosuke sighs.

“We’re done, everyone!” Marisa shows up on the kitchen door with a huge fabric bag. “Kourin, are you comin’ with us?”

“Just until the middle of the road. I have to do some stuff home.”

The goodbye does not even look like one; it is a harmonic conversation that does not rely on Alice to exist. Discreetly, Mr. Kirisame holds Rinnosuke back at the store, when the girls are aloof with each other and with leaving soon.

“Wanna greet her?” He suggests, with a tired voice. “She’ll be happy to see you.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

Behind the bedroom’s closed doors, big enough for a single person, Rinnosuke’s old boss pulls a blanket from a furniture piece to reveal a big, round mirror. There is a grumpy look and face behind a think book.

“Hey, you took too long. I lost count of how many times I’ve read this page.”

The voice of a woman comes from a gramophone behind them. _ After a ghost had dinner in my house, I’m not sure if this scares me anymore. _ She dodges the book, showing up besides the volume of Kafka’s _ “The Metamorphosis” _.

“I’m sorry, dear.” Mr. Kirisame detaches the book from the glass surface, flips the page, and puts it back again. “Our pupil was passing by.”

“It was about time. How’re things goin’, Rinnosuke? Did the sales increase?”

“They were never bad as you think.” He retributes the sarcastic smile. “You haven’t changed in the slightest.”

“Bite that tongue, you brat. My husband’s offended by that kinda stuff.” She looks intrigued with something in the pages, without looking at them. “This book is uncomfortable. I can’t stop readin’ it.”

Rinnosuke glances at Mr. Kirisame’s semblant and finds no traces of hurt; he only misses her, Rinnosuke can see it, hear it when he speaks, notice it in his gestures. _ I understand. She’s the only one with whom I can banter like this with no hard feelings. _ Despite being smaller than her husband by a large amount, Marisa’s mother intimidated him much more on a first encounter. _ What was the first thing she said directly to me? _ He takes a while to remind the exact words. _ “If you keep pretendin’ I don’t exist, I’ll make you insult me. I know you want it.” _ After that, she started meddling on his studies, creations, and even on the daily tasks he had as an apprentice, but he learned to deal with it and appreciate her presence, just as nosy as her daughter. _ “There is irony stocked up in this head of yours. Let it out once in a while or it’ll kill you someday.” _ Things went wrong on the way and there she was, stuck in an empty dimension and in touch with everyone and everything through the dressing table’s mirror. Rinnosuke stares at the couple from a safe distance.

“What ‘bout Marisa, she didn’t come to say hello to me.”

“She has company. We have a daughter-in-law.”

“Oh. She’ll never tell me what matters. Who’s the girl?”

“She’s polite, a bookworm… And a youkai. No offense, Rinnosuke.” Mr. Kirisame smiles.

“Coming here is accepting the reality that all of us will hear what we don’t want to.” He shrugs when added to the conversation. _ It’s fun, after all. _

“I know that one was for me. I liked it a lot, to be honest.” Marisa’s mother says. “It’ll be the first sentence of my biography when I leave here and go back to writin’… And eatin’, and drinkin’, and doin’ stuff in general.”

_ Who would say that even suffering can have some shade of irony. _ He summaries for her the latest things, as he did for his old friend when he arrived. _ It’s a shame I have to leave. We have pending chess matches. _Seeing her again is good while it lasts, but leaves him with a bitter taste. Behind the door, Marisa complains about how long they take and of not wanting to wait outside in the cold anymore. He says goodbye to his friend with more unnecessary aggression and to Mr. Kirisame with a silent head nod.

The village goes by unnoticed, as well as the magicians’ conversation. Memories, remembrances of despair, cries for help, distress from years before; hard news to tell someone long-lasting as he is, and even harder to an eleven-year-old child. The deep dark circles around the eyes, the unshaven face, his boss’ sleepless nights trying to find a solution. Marisa’s muffled crying herself to sleep, her wrath growing by the hour, a bond of father and daughter that becomes dust. _ Melancholy doesn’t suit Marisa. _ He breathes in deep and tries to leave the memory quicksand. _ The lessons learned the hard way: one in a million is still a chance, and the odds love an underdog. _

“Kourin, what are you doin’ here? Did you change your mind?”

He bumps into someone and looks around as if he had just awoken from a nap. The three are in the beginnings of the forest, an annoying breeze greeting them. _ It’s good that she believed my excuse. And a score less to me, who forgot about it. _

“Thanks, Marisa. I was distracted.”

“I’ve seen it. You almost knocked me to the ground, y’know.”

_ It wasn’t even that strong of a bump. _ He rubs his eyes and stares at the greyish sky.

“Yeah, it’s true, you’re wearin’ no glasses. I’ll forgive you this time, ‘kay?” She smiles. “I’ll show up after tomorrow at max.”

“Please knock on the door and don’t pull my blankets. I’m still convalescent.”

Her figure and Alice’s disappear among the trees. _ Who would tell being ignored would come in handy. _ He turns around and heads to the other way of the bifurcation.

**~**

“Oh, it’s you.”

_ It’s the Schrödinger’s Shrine. I don’t know what her mood is until I open up the box. _Reimu carries a duvet over her body and head.

“You won’t invite me in?” He asks.

“Hurry, I wanna close the door.”

_ Wait. What did I ruin now? _ She receives without a surprise or a choice the offer of good or bad news first, behind an inseparable cup of tea.

“The good one, then.” He starts. “I found out a way to know where Tenshi is. It’s more likely she’s outside Heaven than inside, what makes things easier.” He observes for a moment, searching for a reaction that does not come. “I took initiative on doing that, since I offered my help.”

“Thanks. What’s the bad news?”

“Who’s finding her. I think I don’t need to say much more.”

He already expected the silence to come.

“You didn’t tell her this has something to do with me, did you?” She asks.

“Her father suspected it, but Marisa doesn’t know it.” Rinnosuke swallowed hard, quietly wishing for the best.

“I’ve seen you all earlier.” _ And this is a surprise. _ Reimu scratches her eye and acquires a heavy, indecipherable expression. “It’s hard to say something is in my favor.”

“You have my word.” _ In case it’s worth something. _ “What would be my advantages of lying to you?”

“That’s not on me.”

He calculates well the next sentence. _ Creating and solving problems were never so alike. _

“It makes no sense pretending to be useful. I’m a better person than that. Or half a person, if you may.”

Reimu laughs as if she could breathe again. She serves him some tea, ignoring her previous rudeness, and does not sit on the opposite side of the table anymore. _ I wish something made sense. _ Rinnosuke does not question her sudden change. _ Okay. Carefully now, since I cleared things up. _ She asks about his wound and is satisfied to see that it got lots better.

“It’ll be healed by tomorrow. All I want is washing my hair in peace.”

“Be more careful next time, there won’t always be someone to help.” She says.

_ If my luck would only help. _ He smiles with irony, but does not feel offended; any two minutes of chat with Marisa’s mother were a defense renewal for anyone. He thanks silently for having a cup with which to warm up his hands. _ It’s colder in here than it looks. _ He tries to shrug off some urgency of going back to his heater, his books, and his chair. Reimu keeps quiet, reflecting, until she lets out:

“How’s she?”

“Marisa?” She nods and he goes on. “Cheerful. Talkative. Dedicated. Not very different, besides talking to her father again, and that’s been some months ago.”

“I can’t hate her.” _ And this is a face of someone who’s tried. _ Reimu sighs. “I didn’t even have it out with her, and I don’t know how that would work out.”

_ That’s a hard thing to try to predict. But it’s a fact that Marisa needs a scolding. This is not a situation to put her best friend in, or… Whatever they are. _ He watches over himself not to stare at her for too long, even if he wants to look for clues in her expression. Rinnosuke tries:

“She’s an usual customer of mine, if you want some news.” _ More than an aid, I’m now a pigeon carrier. How did I end up like this? _ He gives up on recalling it and goes with the flow.

“You’ve been solving too many things for me.”

“It hurts to admit, but I haven’t been busy in a while.” He sighs.

He changes subjects; he gets into detail on the commissioned tracking, which step-by-step Marisa did not tell him, and about other possibilities. He is surprised in the beginning when Reimu is listening to him so attentively. _ Of course, it’s her task Who am I trying to fool? _

“Well, Aya has really lots of contacts, even if her tabloid is not the best of worlds. She may have heard of it.” She reflects, her chin in hand. “If we need to talk to her or Patchouli, it’d be easier for me.”

“I must agree. The Scarlet Mansion would perhaps make a fancy meal out of me, and I’m not really in the mood for that.”

“No, no. Remilia won’t feed on just anyone. She’s got quite a refined taste.”

“Hey, what do you mean by that?” He squints his eyes. _ Am I being made fun of? _

“It’s her business, don’t ask me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

Reimu tries to hide her laughter with the cup. _ Very funny… I won’t retribute because you are underweight. _

“There isn’t anything wrong with me. Is there?” He asks.

“I don’t know. Is there?”

“I have a good diet. My blood won’t taste so off, it can’t be.” _ You used to talk about more logical topics, Rinnosuke. _ “By the way, why is that even being discussed?”

She shrugs and does not answer; he can not hold back a smile. _ Who would tell I’d ever let someone laugh off of me. _

They do not notice it, but the day becomes darker as al the others in that season. _ If it wasn’t any sunny before… _ Reimu lights up an oil lamp. on the floor besides her. The heater under the table has very few embers and lots of ashes. _ That explains part of the cold. _

“How can you stand sleeping this time of the year?” He hides his hands inside his sleeves. “I’m freezing since an hour ago and it’s not evening yet.”

“Blankets and coal.” _ That “complicated matter” face again. _ Reimu finishes her third apple of the day. “Marisa used to sleep here, or I’d go off to her house.”

He does not find what to say and opts on staying quiet. She goes on, as if she was thinking out loud:

“What did she see in Alice?”

_ How would I know? I didn’t ask. _

“She’s stoic. Lonely. Kind of scary, if you take the dolls into account, and that she ignored my existence for most of the time.” He reformulates the reasoning about forty times. _ It’s tiring, but better than messing up the conversation. _“It might be the mystery. What’s behind her façade?”

“It makes sense, you know? Marisa has always been like that.”

“I have an old, formed opinion on her, but I don’t know yours.”

Reimu searches for words. “She’s easily charmed by things. Even more if they’re bright and complex.”

“So you don’t think of yourself as bright, or complex, or… Intriguing?”

He notices not sounding as impartial as he wanted, as she shows surprise. _ Was I offensive? Did it sound like a compliment? I have no clue. _He gives up on correcting himself.

“Actually, I think I’m an old hat. Who wants to know about a solved enigma?”

“I don’t think it’s positive that you think like that.” He hesitates between shutting up and going on for a good while. “Can I be honest?”

“It’s your best skill, I guess.”

_ There comes the hard part of not hurting her any further. _

“Marisa is immature. I know her since she was born. Maybe the letter you read was true; maybe Alice indeed loves her. But Marisa…” _ Now’s too late to go back. _ “I bet she doesn’t even know what she feels. If I can guess, she’s marvelled, and that’s a fleeting feeling. Not that I understand much about it, though.”

“You speak like you do.”

_ Thinking about it, it’s the first time I ever talk about it because I want. _

“One can learn something when observing people and drawing conclusions out of it. It’s not useless.”

“I didn’t think you had an interest on people.” She frowns.

“It depends on what we’re talking about.” _ What is she driving at? _ “People are like a mystery book without an ending: they never tell me who they trully are. In a way, it looks like my skill for objects. With a difference that people don’t have a ‘function’, a fixed nature. It doesn’t mean they are useless, though. Understand?”

“I’m not that stupid.” Reimu protests in an uninterested tone.

“I never claimed that. I just wasn’t sure my explanation was clear.”

He takes a hand out of a sleeve to scratch his head, picking a scab. _ Thank goodness I heal very quickly. I get hurt more often than I’d like. _Rinnosuke stretches his neck and looks out of the window:

“It’s snowing again. We’d better get going before it worsens.”

They both stand reluctantly. Putting on shoes without hurtful bumps in the cold weather requires a bunch of skill. A jacket and his scarf will have to do. Reimu says goodbye from the other side of the door, her face half-covered by the blanket. He does not move and she asks:

“What’s wrong, ain’t you leaving?”

“You don’t think I’ll leave you here in this cold, do you?”

She looks at him with doubt and does not answer.

“I said ‘we’. You’re coming, too.”

Both sentences are enough for her to tear up and clean her eyes, as if she wanted to hide it. _ I don’t know where did I make a mistake now. _

“I’ll go get a jacket.” She says.

Outside of the shrine, he lights up his lantern. Observing with attention, the remains of the day and his gadget show the dormant forest under the snow. _ In two or three months, it won’t even look like the same place. _Reimu comes back with enough clothes, with her usual colors except for a brown jacket. She advises:

“Let’s go by the trail. It’ll be hard to walk on the shortcut.”

“If I only could fly, or float, or anything like that. my life would be a lot easier.” He starts walking. “The longest route, then. Don’t get too far, my lantern won’t illuminate such a large radius.”

“What’s the point in flying if your life consists on staying still in a store?”

_ What can I do against facts and logic? _ He remembers being hungry after so many hours. _ I so don’t want to cook today. If I just had left with some money, I’d solve that in the Village. _ He feels a hand pulling his forearm.

“Don’t walk so fast.” Reimu pants, her breath condensating in the air. “Why the hurry?”

“I’m not on a hurry.”

She ignores him and keeps on holding his arm, this time closer. _ Whatever. It’s cold anyway. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me translate the dreaded word "saudade". It is really a pain. Talking about translation, if you stumble upon any mistake, weird phrasing, spelling error, etc., please drop a comment. Did you spot the meme?
> 
> See you next week.


	6. Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, if there's someone. This chapter is maybe my favorite of them all... And you'll soon find out why. Have a nice read. 
> 
> In case you can read in Portuguese, the Portuguese version is finished and you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310255/).

_ If sloth is a sin, I think burning a bit after I’m dead is sort of worth it. _ For the first time in days, he can twist and turn under the blanket without worrying about his head. There is no dawn to speak of; the darkness of the bedroom and the gust outside make his mind quiet. He would sleep again if he did not feel so hungry. _ Twelve hours without a meal, this time of the year, is too long, even for me. _The pleasant sleepiness almost convinces him to stay.

He did not count on the wardrobe being so close. He avoids another accident supporting his body with his right arm. _ Chill, chances. Just a week away, will you? _ Rinnosuke looks for the light switch and finds himself alone in the bedroom. His intuition says nothing is wrong, but he gives the house a checkup after picking up some rice crackers. _ Attic, here I go. _He climbs the stairs with all calm and patience, holding the handrail tight.

Reimu is sitting atop of a box that is too tall, and she has the lit lantern on her lap. She is entertained with a wooden toy and did not show signs of seeing him. _ She’s past the age for that kind of toy, though. _

“Did you lose sleep, too?” He asks.

The heavy ball of the toy hits her face.

“What a scare. Do you always walk so silently?”

“I never noticed.” _ It was half on purpose this time. _ He masks an ironic face. “If you can clinb down from such an unstable place, my lamp will be thankful for being safe.”

“Said its owner, who will cause accidents staying still.”

“I wouldn’t say the lamp is any safer under your care after seeing you hit yourself.”

She disregards being wrong, climbs down the box and asks for help to set it horizontally. _ I can’t remember what’s here. Please, don’t be fragile. _ The impact on the floor creates a sudden dust cloud.

“Have a seat, be my guest. As if it was your house.” Reimu laughs. She goes back into playing and has no hard time on pinning the wooden sphere on the lateral cups or the middle pin.

A cracker after another feed Rinnosuke’s soul. _ They didn’t seem so tasty when I wasn’t starving. _ He shivers under the nightgown, as long as it is. The heater does not reach the attic as it does to the rest of the house and the store. _ It’s a nice night not to let go of the kettle. _ He recounts the plans for the following day, carefree, until he stumps on a crucial point.

“Reimu, what are we doing about the tracking spell?”

She stops handling the toy and gazes at him as if she did not understand it:

“It depends. How does that work?”

“Alike to a compass.” He gestures with a single hand as he describes. “You refer something you’re looking for with a material and the spell’s paraphernalia will show you where’s the most similar thing to that. There are different ways to track, too. The fittest for a case like this one, in which the object is not aware of being searched of, is the making of a mal. My worries are if the direction changes while you’re on your way to find Tenshi, or some other possibilities of failure.”

“If I can get it right, all of this is happening here.”

“In the store, yes. The deadline is tomorrow, if we take into account it’s past midnight. Do you see why I’m worried?”

Reimu rolls the cord of the cup-and ball around her fingers, avoiding to look Rinnosuke in the eyes. She leaves the toy aside, as well as the lantern, and uses her arms to straighten her back.

“I’ll have to stay in the process.”

“It’s recommended, to the point it’s almost mandatory. And there’s another problem. Marisa thinks I asked for it out of my own interest. She has no idea you’re involved.”

“Can it get any worse? I mean… What are the chances of everything going even more wrong?”

He holds back the impulse of clarifying and swearing he had the best of intentions. _ What would that solve, anyway? The situation is bad for her no matter what. _ He puts his brain to work:

“We can try other options. We’ve talked about it earlier.”

“We’ve got no time. The year ends in less than a week.” Her voice is hoarse. “Patchouli could maybe solve it, but I doubt she’d want something from the store as a payment. And going to the mountain to talk to Aya might be useless. I may die in an avalanche or whatever.”

Rinnosuke taps his fingers on his own leg. _ You can do it. _

“I think I was more of a problem to you than of any help. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that.” She looks to the window first, then to him, then she steals the half of a cracker he eats, the last one of the bag. “Excuse me.”

“If you wanted one, you could’ve asked.”

Reimu chews with a face of someone who earned a trophy:

“Food is only enjoyable when you share it. You should offer it, perhaps.”

_ I’m not sure if that’s a sign of an improved mood or if I’m stuck in an endless labyrinth of familiarity. _ Without any more crumbs in her mouth, she concludes:

“I’m up to think about something else, if I can. This whole story is driving me crazy.”

“Any suggestion?”

“You can tell me something I don’t know. For example… Something unusual.”

_ It is not something wise to boast about, this subject I have in mind. But it is unusual, indeed. _

“Does it have to be thrilling?” He asks.

“No, anything outside of the usual will do.”

“Do you know the story about how I almost had my face melted?” She shakes her head and he goes on. “This lantern by your side has a role in it. When I was still dealing with its prototypes, there was a part of the properties I wrote backwards and it absorbed the ambient’s light up to a radius, instead of generating light. I used it to pull a prank before I got a solution… And my victim, out of the startle, shot a perfect fireball according to the book she read. Imagine the possibilites.”

“This sounds like Marisa.”

“She was five or six. She gave me a stinky eye and ignored me for a month.”

With her arms crossed and a lost stare, Reimu laughs and keeps quiet.

“I… Shouldn’t have talked about it. Bad idea.” He says.

“It’s fine. I told you, huh? I can’t hate her.” She struggles to finish her reasoning, what Rinnosuke waits for patiently. “I miss her.”

_ It’s hard to tell if I’d like to know how it feels, or if I’d rather not even imagine it. _ He leaves aside the empty cracker bag and gets ready to hear more unpredictable confessions.

“Do you miss something, Rinnosuke?”

_ Out of all things I could expect, this wasn’t on the list. _

“What left my life for me to miss? Or, better, who did?” He opens his hand, giving an answer. “You might remember when you met me. Or you don’t, since it’s been too long.”

“I don’t know what that has to do with what I asked.”

“I didn’t change at all. You know that. Not a wrinkle. Not one less hair on my head. My health’s the same, and I don’t even need that much to stay like this.”

It’s too dark to see, but the sound denounces the blizzard outside. Reimu observes him with curiosity; he noticed it by the corner of the eye. _ I’d like to know where did she pull this question from. _ He goes on:

“But I’m not too strong, or too free, or too ascetic. There are beings like that around, ones who cause problems or are thrown in the midst of them, and these beings are powerful enough to get rid of those problems. My incidents are quite mundane, in comparison.” _ It sounded smarter when I didn’t have to express it. _ “Let’s suppose any human does me harm. I’ll only retreat and wait for the decades to do their job. I won’t have someone to hate anymore. If the opposite happens, if I do someone harm and regret it, I’ll be here to remind myself of that.”

“It mustn’t feel good to get to that kind of conclusion.”

He laughs, feeling weirdly light:

“No, it’s not.”

Only the wind blows for a while. Rinnosuke stretches and scratches his eye, considering going back to his pile of duvets. _ What time is it now? _ He goes for the lit lantern. 

“Well, I think I owe you another secret now.” Reimu says.

“Pardon me?” He leaves the object where it is.

“You told me something, I tell another in exchange.” She treats him as if he said some kind of absurdity. “I thought it was obvious.”

“I don’t follow. I mean, I don’t remember having that kind of deal with you.” _ Thinking about it, it’s a thing I wanted to clarify for a while. _ “When did it start?”

“Don’t you remember... “ Reimu widens her eyes. “That’s true. The accident. You hit your head.”

He gives up on formulating a sentence and lets her go on. _ The more I try, the more confused I get. I don’t even know how many hours I’ve spent unconscious after that. _

“That day, you asked me about a notepad. I borrowed it But… I didn’t tell you why. You offered me to tell something, so that I’d have a secret of yours as a guarantee.”

_ I was curious. I know that. I take no responsibility for the rest. _

“I still don’t know what are you talking about. Thanks for the effort of explaining, though.”

“It’s okay. Anyway.” As if she meditates, she spends an instant with her eyes closed; her not so calm expression fades off to a more neutral one. Reimu lets out a conformed sigh. “I’m such a hypocrite.”

_ If you’re trying to bewilder me, you did it. _

“And that’s your secret…?”

“Yes, it is.” She straightens her back and crosses her legs. She takes a while to speak again, looking him in the eye for the first time in a good while. “Marisa makes me suffer, but I’m not too different from her.”

_ And what do you mean? _ He has to hold the thought back; Reimu did not let him speak. She pulled him from the collar of the shirt too fast, leaving them both too close. He does not push her, or reject her, or correspond it. Closing his eyes is the only thing he can do. Little by little, his right hand relaxes and finds a place on her shoulder.

They break it apart, just enough to breathe, and she asks:

“Something wrong?”

_ I have no idea. _ Any answer sounds terrible, and he tries:

“No. Nothing.”

“You don’t look so fine.”

“I’m…” _ Confused. Way too much. _“Surprised.”

_ Someone please tell me what’s going on, and tell me I don’t look like much of an idiot as I feel right now. _ Reimu has an intrigued expression, but says no more. He risks:

“If you allow me the question, for how long have you been planning this?”

“A minute, perhaps.”

“That’s not what I mean-”

She silences him with the index finger on his lips:

“You ask too many questions.”

_ No wonder. _ When did she start seeing him like that? Which of his attitudes made her feel like it? Does it change anything tomorrow, or or the next day, or even later? Was he incompetent for not noticing it, or was she skilled on hiding it? Reimu runs her fingertips over his chin and jawline, soon with her whole palm on his face; he shivers lightly. Before Rinnosuke can express himself, she does it again. _ Not bad. _

“Remember, don’t tell anyone.” Reimu has a cunning smile and climbs down from the box. “Good night.”

He does not answer; he can not bring himself to do it. She goes down the stairs humming a song. The attic is back to its usual, dusty silence. For no reason, he grabs the lantern and holds it like a warm cup. When he blinks, it is like Reimu was still there, too close, his skin still feeling it. He touches his dry lips for a moment and looks out of the window. _ It’s strange how the night hours all look the same. _ He discards the idea to turn of the light until he arrives the bedroom door. Sleeping in it or not is the hardest decision. _ I just wanna think straight, is that too much to ask? _ He turns the door handle in such a way that it does not make noise. _ She’d take it personal if I slept in the living room all of a sudden. _

The duvets do not feel as cozy as before. He turns from a side to another countless times, tired and unable to sleep. He stretches his hand to wake um Reimu, that sleeps the deepest sleep, and gives up dropping his arm on the floor. _ She won’t explain a thing. _ He pulls the duvet up to his nose. _ I so needed some booze right now. _

~

A sleepy look at the alarm clock situate him at eight o’ clock of a sunless day. _ If not today, tomorrow will be a long day. _ His body aches in an annoying way and his will for spirit is not gone. _ No wonder. I’m freezing. _Not even the heater is enough to make him comfortable; he chooses a warmer blouse and takes it out of the bedroom with him. He looks over his shoulder to see Reimu moving in her sleep, hugging the pillow.

With some hot water for the tea, he splits it in two for a soup. Luckily, the Outside World packages have instructions, what eliminate his chances of failure. He saves them for special occasions, as rare as their appearances are this side of the Barrier. He shrugs off any intrusive thought as he would do with an insect. He also squanders a bit taking the expensive sake out of the cupboard, to make it hot as the weather asks. With love and care, he makes two trips to the bedroom with all the porcelain.

_ Now, I wait for the magic to happen. _ She still sleeps; maybe not for too long with the food’s aroma. _ She started out as an intruder, then she became a friend, then… I don’t know anymore. What a progress. _ The night before was a question mark. How would she treat him from then on? He forces his own memory to recall the Outside World magazines, with dull articles on romantic relationships. _ “Five signs your marriage needs help” _ , _ “Gift tips for a dating anniversary” _ , _ The most fantastic places for an unforgettable honeymoon” _ ; everything shallow, futile, and inadequate. Everything on already established, consensual relationships. _ Not that I’ve stopped her… Or that it was any bad. _ He sees no reason to fight himself on that. _ But it definitely wasn’t in my plans, and I think not even she had a plan. _ How long has it been since someone became so close to him? _ Well, it depends on the aspect. My closest friendship of all times is inside a mirror. On the rest, anything half alike to this didn’t involve any complications. _

“Good morning.” Reimu raises her body slowly, rubs her eyes, and unwrinkles her face. “Is that for me?”

“Yes, it is. Eat before you-”

Too late; she already bottomed up the sake cup without thinking twice and steals the duvets where he slept. Rinnosuke knows it’s no use, but tries:

“It’s too early for that, don’t you think?”

“It’s so chilly, I think it snowed up to the door.” _ Ah, the wonders of being ignored. _

“I still didn’t check it.”

He promises himself not to ask anything problematic up to the end of the day. _ “You ask too many questions.” _ Remembering the sentence gives him butterflies.

“I had a strange dream today.” She takes a sip of the soup and her expression changes to a softer one. “A giant bird stopped by my house to talk to me.”

“Do you know what kind of bird?”

“An owl. Those brown ones with plumes on the top of the head, you know? She told me to be careful with fruits. I think it means nothing. Is there any more soup?”

“Just mine.” He looks at the half-eaten bowl. “You can have it.”

As he imagined, she accepted without a comment. _ One can’t argue against… Yesterday. _ Every second keeping quiet makes the idea of clearing up doubts more tempting, and his shaking, crossed leg denounces how nervous he is. _ Right. I need an excuse. _ He tries:

“I’ll go see how’s the weather, be right back.”

Outside of the bedroom, he hears Reimu ask for more sake. _ I shouldn’t give it to her. _ The snow reaches the bottom of the kitchen window, less than a week before. When he is back, he handles her the cup reluctantly and sits down with his own, warming up his hands.

“Exaggerating won’t harm you?” He asks.

“Where did you store this all this time?” She disregards his opinion with an amazed expression. “It’s the best I’ve ever had.”

“If I told you, it’d end in the blink of an eye.” Rinnosuke stares at her with a threatening aura behind his cup. A moment later, he notices what he really did. _ Oh, dammit. I challenged her. _

“Interesting…”

“Hey, watch out there. I need this to feed myself, will you?”

Reimu mutters some incomprehensible complaint, interrupted by a yawn. _ She changed nothing towards me. So, I don’t need to change, either, I guess. _ The doorbell rings and it probably means trouble. Both look at each other, he closes half of the door and runs to answer. Poorly closed, the entrance opened with the weight of the snow pile, which is now spreading on the floor. _ Do I celebrate the discovery, lament the extra work, or feel like a moron for not figuring it out before? _ He asks for help in a loud enough tone to be heard from the bedroom; Reimu peeks from the door and goes looking for the tools. Grudgingly, they both wear more layers of clothing, put on shoes, unblock the door, and mop the floor.

“Congratulations for the attention.” Reimu mocks him in a harmless manner. “It’s good not to feel cold anymore.”

“You didn’t notice it either.”

“But I don’t live here, do I?”

“I’d like to return the table to the living room.” _ Ignored lost arguments? It’s a game for two. _ “Please, bring the cushions.”

The sudden return to the natural order leaves him feeling peaceful. _ Let’s say I just had some busy days. _ He passes time with a rules handbook from a game with pieces, maps, and too many options. _ It’s possible that the situations created here aren’t restricted to the imaginary realm. If one of the Gensokyo’s powerful figures had control over a whole world like this one… I hope Yukari didn’t mess around much with this box. _ Reimu fiddles with a dice set from a side to another in the box, the most attractive one of them having much more than six sides. He can not pinpoint if she is bored, sad, lost in thought, all of them or none of them.

“Did you make a decision?” Rinnosuke finds his softest tone of voice. “About the tracking spell. It might happen today.”

She breathes in deep, hesitates, and avoids his stare, but answers:

“I thought of something that could help. Do you have some spare change?”

“I’d like to know why my money is involved.”

“I’m going to the Village to buy newspapers.” She stands up and straightens up the waist of her skirt. “Don’t give me that look. It’s just two issues, and Kosuzu will always give me a discount.”

“It’s fine, have it. I’ll thank you a lot if you bought some groceries. I’m writing a list.”

_ Onions, turnip, preserves, sweet potatoes, lotus root, mushrooms… And more sake. _ He puts three bills in an envelope with the memo and gives it to Reimu. She picks it up touching his hand for a second longer than he expected and leaves saying she will not take long, sounding like she regretted what she did. _ Too shy in comparison, don’t you think? _ He has a cynical smile when he is already alone. Then, he shakes his head, looking for focus. _ Sense. Make some sense. _

~

“Do you know what’s ‘dexterity’?”

“Refined skill, accuracy.” Rinnosuke flips pages of the section _ “Attributes and their applications” _. “Points on it are better spent in archers and artisans, but they are needed for any melee class. What kind of character do you intend to create?”

“I like the paladins. They’re the cool version of my job.”

“If I can advise you, be careful on dealing with this kind of game. We don’t know what kind of consequence it has in other worlds.”

“What is it called?” Reimu goes for the illustrated box lid. “Oh. Sanae already told me about it. She even has some pieces, and she says it’s fictional.”

“It looks way too ritualistic to be inoffensive, in my opinion. There are magic applications that happen in a very similar fashion in many cultures. Do you know something about the Catholic religion?” As she denies, he goes on explaining. “Some devotees with many followers and local influence become blessed. They’re like once living deities. If the central Church recognizes some of their miracles, they become saints. Believers have statues of them at home, they pray to it, tell their story in celebrations, make offerings when their prayers are heard and may punish the statues if the saint ignores them.”

“I can’t imagine someone punishing a Kanako doll because of the bad harvest.”

“Beliefs are beliefs anywhere in the world. Someone might find it strange the very concept of jobs like yours, for example.”

“That aside, check out the news.”

Reimu pushes the map of an imaginary country to the side and spreads the two newspapers she brought on the table. _ “Ice delinquent is scolded for disturbing the public order” _ is in Bunbunmaru News’s headlines, pictured with a grey gravure; Letty has her collar pulled by a sick shrine maiden.

“Did you notice the camera’s flash last week?” He asks.

“Yeah, but I didn’t care much. Aya has a nose for polemics and took some pictures there’s no way to know how.” As he tries ti flip to the next page, she shakes a hand. “I read it on the way. There’s nothing of use.”

“Let’s check the other, then.”

“_Greatest blizzard in last twenty years falls over Gensokyo.” Fine, that’s no news. _ The first page indicates that it is a special issue on that matter. _ “Populace questions the festival’s date” _ , “ _ Moriya Shrine reunites with the leaders for a solution” _ , _ Students on vacation compete for best snow sculpture” _ . _ “Myouren Temple disappears” _ . _ Really? _ Rinnosuke remembers the times Byakuren Hijiri showed up after repairs and pieces for her motorcycle, which he has no clue how she even got it. He pours more sake for both of them; Reimu leaves her pencil aside:

“I finished the character sheet. Can you check it?”

“Sure. About the newspapers, I found nothing useful, but I think the mountain guys are in front of you when it comes to solving the weather problem.” He runs a finger over the sheet. “It’s missing a hometown. And paladins can’t be elves. It’s in the rules.”

“The mountain squad’s believers aren’t mine.” Reimu gets the sheet back and corrects the data. _ Do you have believers? _

“Anyway, the people in general have to get ready for the festival, no matter when it happens. I suggest that you report to someone who can spread the news.”

“Isn’t it better that we find a solution first?”

_ “We”? What an honor. _

“As you wish.” He waits for her to close the map folder of the game. “I don’t like to talk about it, but Marisa may come today.”

“I don’t care.” _ I think I should’ve stayed quiet. I also think that you care. _ “By the way, what does she know?”

“That this is my business. You could justify your presence by telling her you’re helping me. It sounds plausible.”

More silent moments mean more worries. He starts to scribble on the character sheet’s notepad until he decides to write on his own dictionary, in the end._ “Doubt: ????????” I need no words. _ He sees Reimu finish another cup and support her reddish face with with her hand. She says, out of the blue:

“Thank you.”

“What did I do now?” _ That wasn’t irony, was it? _

“There’s not much to explain.”

Rinnosuke shrugs and accepts it. _ Now, we wait. Maybe it’ll be interesting to make a hero for myself. _ He considers elaborating a simple one, closer to himself, but decides for the opposite. _ If I have the chance to experiment other possibilities, then why not? _ A charismatic satyr with great musical skills comes alive in the sheet. _ Flaws and weaknesses…? _ The topic makes him indecisive. He looks at the opposite side of the table. _ Alcohol abuse. _ A bit more of research and imagination transform his starting idea in Alnus Burnitt, a bohemian raised in the suburbs of a sattelite city, famous for his voice, harp skills, punch strength in bar fights, and success with the ladies. A middle child, he was not a part of the family when things were prosper as did the first child, nor he was sent to a monastery as the youngest; his behavior, between creative insanity and rebellion took him to the spotlight in any tavern, then to the adventurers’ groups and the nobility events. _ This is more fun than it looks like. _

“Hey.” Reimu pulls his sleeve. “Someone’s knocking on the door.”

“I swear I didn’t hear it.” _ Did I leave it locked? _ “What if-”

“Just go.”

He stares at her looking for confidence, nods, and gets up. Two key spins bring back the cold air and Marisa as news, with a travel bag on her shoulder.

“Should I greet you?” Rinnosuke asks with a smirk.

“I dunno. It’s up to you. Got tea? I came flyin’, I need one.”

“I opted for sake today. I know it’s early, but the reason is busy creating ice pendants on the edge of my roof. Did everything go right with the materials?”

“I almost pulled an all-nighter, but yeah.”

Maybe she was about to finish her train of thought and gave up in the middle. Before he has time to feel anxious, the girls already saw each other. He observes for an instant, then goes to the kitchen, all ears to listen to an unilateral conversation. What she has been doing, if something new happened, plans for the end of the year; nothing he does not know himself, and a lot that Reimu hides. _ How long will it take for Marisa to notice it? _ While he reheats the jug, he has an insight. _ Reimu wanted to see her. She missed her. _ It is not exact, but pretty possible, and the booze gave her the courage she lacked. In order not to think about this mystery too much, he is back to the living room.

“It needs the juice, right?” Marisa asks when she gets the cup. “Can I keep it as part of the payment?”

“No. A deal is a deal.”

_ I’ll give it a week for it to disappear from my shelves. _ The sleek, pink can has peaches all over the print, stored in the middle shelf as the other drinks. He thinks, for a fraction of a second, of throwing it in the air and trying to grab it as it falls. _ No freaking way. I could lose an eye or something. _ The table looks all different: a map of Gensokyo in a cartographic scale, hand-drawn with ink, and an open book, its pages containing drawings of the same style and caprice. _ There’s our missing girl and her excentric powers. _ Marisa puts a slim cord in a circle around the space the three people occupy; she asks for the juice can and puts it on the book.

“Everything’s ready. Can I start?” She says.

“Fine by me.” Reimu allows, visibly bored. _ I didn’t expect such self-control. _

The magician puts her open hand on the top of the can and closes her eyes. She recites a long enchantment with some pauses, with such a fast pronunciation that Rinnosuke can not keep up with it. As she removes her palm, a sudden beam in shades of green hits the paper. Each hill, mountain, tree, house and water body gains real colors. _ Splendid. _ Marisa braids a multi colored necklace for a diamond-shaped pendant, twisting the knots between her index fingers in order to make the cord a triangle. Concentrated, she peeks at the empty space of the ornament, that shakes as if it was restless.

“If you could stop, it’d be great. You’re heavier than it looks, y’know.” She scolds the object. “What kinda sight is that?”

“Something wrong?” He asks.

“I should have a notion of the places Tenshi saw in the last hours. But it shows only the skyp. And the spell’d give no answer if she was outside Gensokyo.”

“This means she’s home, right?” He looks briefly to Reimu, quiet on the other end of the table. “It’s a coherent response.”

“No, that’s not what it looks like. I’ve been there, ya know. I’ll try another thing. Cheer for me.”

Marisa leaves aside the first tool and throws a golden coin in the air; it falls without a single spin right on top of Kourindou on the map, slowly dragging itself to the left.

“How come? This makes no sense! Where did I get it wrong?”

“You could try again, we have the whole day for that.” He says.

“I have a theory.” Reimu yawns and stands up. “She’s passing by the sky above is. We should just go out and look.”

“But just the two of us can get so high.” Marisa states.

“We can decide it outside. Let’s not lose any time.” He interrupts. _ I so want to go out in the cold right now. I can barely wait. _

They dress up in a hurry. Rinnosuke lends them more clothes and gloves that are too big. As soon as they leave the door, a huge figure shows up in the sky, propelled by the air current. The three let out a marvelled expression: the Palanquin Ship is not a very frequent sight.

“I suspect we have our answer, Marisa.” He brushes his hair off of his eyes.

“And what we gonna do to, dunno, not become ice cubes?” She asks.

_ Are you coming? _

“Leave it to me.”Reimu stretches her whole body. “I’ll make a protective barrier, but there’s a problem.”

“Which is…?” _ Please, don’t involve any more accidents into this. _

“It lasts for three hours and will make us sleep for a whole day after.”

“I’ve got nothing to do tomorrow. How ‘bout you two?” Marisa looks at them in search for a confirmation. “I think it’s a fine idea.”

_ Why does she carry ofuda in times where nothing happens? _ Reimu puts her powers into action; the talismans shine in front of her, then in front of Marisa for a bit and everything goes back to normal.

“Can you crouch, please?” She calls him, but he takes a while to notice it. “I can’t reach your forehead.”

He apologizes and bends his knees. The brief touch makes him tense. Marisa, bubbling, flies ahead with her broom, and they soon lose sight of her.

“Hold on tight.” Reimu says in a monotone voice and turns her back.

He thinks of many things to ask, but gives up on all of them. _ How do you do that without destroying someone’s back? _ He wraps his arms in a reasonable manner around her neck.

“Like this?”

“…Farther from my ear, please.”

_ Oh… Yeah. Keeping quiet. Got it. _ Reimu grips on his forearm with both hands and jumps towards the floating temple. _ She’s definitely stronger than I thought. _

~

Squinting his eyes, Rinnosuke catches a glimpse of a movement on the deck. The ship docked in the air when it noticed it was being followed. He avoids looking down, or else, he would feel nauseous. A girl in a sailor suit gets closer to the rail, her stare is too serious for someone looking so young. _ I swear I’ve seen her trespass that barrel. But what’s such a thing in comparison to… Whatever happens in this place. _

“Who are you?” She asks.

“Oh, stop it, you remember us. That time!” The ship’s captain spends a while questioning herself on the reference Marisa gave, fruitlessly. “You even taught me how to use an astrolabe.”

“Sure, how could I forget it. I know who you are, and the other girl. What about the dead weight there?”

“It’s a guest, don’t mind him.”

“I believe Hijiri knows my store, if it helps.” He interrupts the disdain before it gets worse. “I’m the owner of the antique shop on the road to the forest.”

“I’ll tell the master about your arrival. Be welcome to the ship.”

Standing up is an instant relief for his body. _ If I’m in pain, I can imagine she’s too, since she carried me. _ Reimu did not say a word since they took flight and has a grumpy semblant. _ We’re just half sure if Tenshi is actually here, also. One can’t blame her. _ The wind is strong, but it does not bother him, or the other two.

“We’re close to it.” She says.

_ She’s thinking out loud, I guess. _ He feels obligated to respond, though. He looks around to detect where is Marisa: he sees the magician after interesting things, bothering a youkai with mouse ears. He breathes in deep and puts a hand on Reimu’s shoulder.

“Yes. We made it.”

He interrupts the touch without observing its effects, worried about foreign opinions. He gets closer to the rail to give the landscape a look, just enough before he is queasy. She accompanies him without saying a thing, Marisa following them. She is divided beteen requiring Reimu’s attention and manipulating a golden hourglass, surrounded by many spinning circles. _ It’s the smallest I’ve ever seen. Does someone really measure the passing time with that? _

“I was not expecting visitors now.”

Byakuren Hijiri’s figure is more imposing than her height; she carries herself with both power and tranquility. She bows just enough to show herself receptive. Rinnosuke looks around to try and copy the other two, but marisa waves cheerfully and Reimu does not seem to care. He decides on being overly formal and he hears the temple master laugh.

“Would you like to talk in the cabin? Minamitsu did not tell me what brings you here. But we are in a magnificent angle to look at the panorama.” She struggles to keep her hair out of her face and looks at the door from which she must have come out. “I know you are there, Shou. Why the hurry? The subject will get to you eventually.”

_ How did she notice it? _ To access the room, there are meters and more meters of deck ahead, as well as some stairs. Shou answers something incomprehensible in a banter tone, disappearing to the inside. Byakuren invites them to join her while she comments on two new faces in the temple.

“They are really new here. Less than a month, maybe. If you look attentively to the gavea, you might see one of them. They do not get along, to be honest.”

From above, a head with a pair of horns appears. Suika screams something for Reimu as soon as she sees her, waving a bottle in the air; it is impossible to know if it is full or empty. _ A smile. _ He looks at Reimu. _ What a surprise _ He crouches to cross the door frame. Marisa decides she does not want to come in and heads to the other places of the ship. _ Good for us, I guess. _

The cabin has very little: a short table on a red carpet, some chests and a bed besides a window, the pillars of the ceiling connecting to the bed’s frame. For an instant, he is worried upon seeing only Byakuren and Shou sitting around the table. _ Are we mistaken? _ The white blankets move and a figure greets him in the midst of a yawn. He does now know which god to thank. Tenshi no longer wears her fancy dress, and exchanged it for an outfit more adequate do the Myouren Temple, but with colors to her taste.

“Sleeping the whole day does not leave you with a sore back?” Byakuren pokes fun of her.

“I’m in the age to enjoy that kinda thing.” Seeing the visitors makes Tenshi open her eyes once and for all. “You’re here, Reimu? Who’d say. I don’t know the guy.”

“You know the tendency is sleeping less and less the older you get, right?” Shou corrects Tenshi with irony.

Byakuren interrupts the beginning of the argument introducing Rinnosuke to them, who was previously distracted with the lotus-shaped censer atop of the table. He straightens his back and lets out a relief sound. _ It’s the moment of truth. _

“What brings you here in such an inhospitable day?” Shou inquires, far more serious than before, her hands inside her sleeves.

Both him and Reimu start talking at the same time, stop it, and look at one another. He leaves it to her. Reimu explains herself with humbleness, which is kind of a rare sight; even if her matters are to be solved with the Celestial guest, her history is enough for Byakuren not to want her there. _ No wonder. She’d treat the Temple goers with good old extermination. _

“If you’re already busy with the Temple’s tasks, Tenshi, I’m sorry to bother you.” Reimu says.

“The festival is open for everyone. I think there’s no problem.” Tenshi looks around and finds approval. She shrugs. “I’m just passing by the Temple, anyway.”

“I think it is risky not to impose any restriction to this kind of spell.” Byakuren crosses her fingers on her lap.

“That’s no issue.” Tenshi assures. “Can you give me just a second?”

Tenshi leaves the table to rummage through one of the chests. They do not notice her until she starts arguing with the unorganized objects. Suddenly, she lets out a triumphant cry with her closed fist up. He has an old notebook and a blue pendant in a silver chain in her hands.

“Do you need any space?” Shou mentions getting up. “I don’t know if chaos lies ahead.”

“You can stay where you are. It works like this: the pendant here will save up the spell in itself.” She gestures a lot while explaining. “You hold it in a hand, recite the words exactly as they are in the notebook and this will keep the blizzard at bay for a day. It can only be used again in ten months. Questions? No? Here I go.”

Her voice changes tone from her usual casual one to one that fills up the room and surprises the ears. With a rhythm that gets faster, lights sprout in the cabin, circling its power source. The mantra finishes without Rinnosuke understanding a word of it; the clear light beams are ateracted to the pendant as if it sucked all of the the energy, and the jewel falls exhausted on the hands under it. _ I feel I’m the only one who’s impressed here. _ As Tenshi takes notes, the door opens and Marisa pokes her nose in the room, questioning if they are finished already.

“We’re almost. You can go, if you’re on a hurry.” He is the first one to answer her.

“Keep the notebook. It’s a travel journal. I have a lot of these.” Tenshi avoids that he hers Marisa and the door closes. “Do you have a time to be back?”

“I think my barrier has an hour, still.” Reimu skims through the open page.

Someone from the table is curious enough to ask her about the protection from the cold. While he hears the explanation as background, Rinnosuke puts away the new objects, finally achieved._ It makes sense that the spell wears off the protected person’s energy, not only its caster. Their own body generates head and keeps it around. _

“Wouldn't it be possible that just the caster is a source of energy?” Tenshi asks.

“It is possible, but not practical.” Byakuren clears it up. “A single person would have to sacrifice themselves to protect their body and the other two people, in this case. The collateral tiredness would be much worse.”

“It’ll be quite a descent to the ground. Want me to take you?”

“Are you talking to me?” Rinnosuke points at himself and the Celestial nods.

“Nothing personal, you just don’t look like you can fly.

_ Truth be told. _ After thanks and goodbyes, they leave to the deck; Byakuren signs for her captain to leave soon. Marisa floats on her broom around the gavea, with Suika on her rump. As they land, the youkai sprints to greet Reimu. He does not give their conversation much attention, but it feels good to hear friendly banter instead of silence, illogical confessions, and tears. From the corner of the eye, he sees the three sharing a drink, Byakuren refusing it, Shou doing the same with reluctance and Tenshi avoiding Suika after a sip. Tenshi then takes Rinnosuke off the ground and jumps in the air as if he weighed nothing.

“Hold on tight.” She advises.

“You don’t have to say it twice.” _ After just giving me a heart attack, of course. _

Even if it is unnecessary, Reimu makes Marisa company on the broom. _ They’re pretty close… By the way, they’re holding onto one another. I’ll never understand this. _ He lets out a confused laugh.

“Something wrong?” Tenshi shakes her head to get hair out of her face.

_ What’s the point of lying? _

“Many things.”

“Really?” She seems surprised. “Wanna change topics?”

“It’s not necessary. I think no one else is listening.”

“Whatever. So, what’s the matter?” She asks.

_ Now, I need to summarize an abnormal week, an accident, a memory loss, a relationship which I didn’t ask for, or pursued, and a friendship that… I don’t know how to classify anymore. _

“People.”

“This is pretty vague.”

“It’s the best I can do, sorry.”

_ Even if she’s literally holding me, this is not torture. _ Some sleepiness finds its way to him and the cold starts to bother him.

“You’re a peculiar guy. Anyway, want some advice?” He hesitates and ends up agreeing to it. Tenshi goes on. “Nothing happens the same way twice.”

“And how’s that supposed to help me?”

“You’ll only get bored if you want. I think I see your house from here.”

“If you’re going to make any rumble-tumble, please-”

The descent is almost a freefall, his stomach feeling colder than the negative degrees.

“What did you say?” She elevates her tone to fight the sound of the wind.

“I wanna get to the ground alive.”

Their flight deaccelerates until they hit a pile of snow. He stands up carefully after Tenshi is already standing and slips to the safety of the land. His conductor leaves almost at the same time the other two land; Marisa still stays for a while, entertained with breaking the icicles on the roof with the broomstick, then she goes home, leaving behind a trail of laziness wherever she goes. The ship moves between the clouds again, towards a direction they do not know.

“I’ll go talk to the Village leader about what we’ve got.” Reimu says.

_ “Take a long walk on a short pier”? We just left a ship. _ He gives her the notebook and the pendant. She climbs down the entrance stairs, stretches her body, and says, looking over her shoulder:

“See you later.”

He prunes the questions before they become irresistible. _ Great, now, say something decent. _

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

He estimates he has half an hour awake until he passes out for the next day. Silence covers his light meal, the pause for a drink, the pause for a tea, a second alcoholic moment, the boiling bath, and the sleepy instants under his blankets. _ Why not sleeping once and for all? _ He turns and twists in the improvise of a bed. His hand bumps into an unknown object under the wardrobe and he goes for the lantern to find out what it is: a bracelet made of colored beads, pair of a similar necklace. Spinning the beads against the light. the fake jewels form beautiful reflexes. _ So, it was here. _ Each blink of his eyes is a beginning of a meaningless dream, or a period of complete darkness. From afar, the doorbell rings, but he does not consider answering it. Not even the bedroom door or the silhouette that enters are enough to wake him up. He believes to hear something like “good night”, but his words tangle when he answers. _ It’s not even night yet. _


	7. Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, how's everyone? The story comes to an end in this very chapter. I was supposed to update this yesterday, but forgive me and my holidays.

The light bothers him, a voice calls for him, the wind blows outside, and everything hurts. The time passes like it is dragging itself. He closes his eyes again, barely open before; when he wakes up, it is already dark, but not completely. Getting out of the duvets is out of question. He buries his head deeper in the improvised pillow. His forehead itches, but he notices a weight on his hand when he tries to scratch it. From the corner of his eye, he sees Reimu holding it. She looks like she is sleeping, until she yawns, stretches in a twisting way, and murmurs a greeting with a hoarse voice.

“What time is it?” She asks.

“I don’t know.” He lets go of her hand and brushes her hair out of her face.  _ I hope that doesn’t sound wrong. _ “Any nightmare?”

“No.”

The next hours go by as a mosaic. It is hard to tell apart the real world logic from the extravagant dreams, but each time waking up is easier than the previous one. He loses sleep for real in some hour of the night. He wanders by the house reorganizing objects, with the help of the lantern light. He is patient with his stomach ache and his body can not decide between feeling cold and sweating profusely. Feeling too uncomfortable to read, he jumps into his duvets again, with his head abnormally emtpy. All of a sudden, he hears a tap on the floor to his left. Reimu looks for the light with squinted eyes and gives up on reaching it.

“Can you turn it off?”

“I can.” So he does. “Try not to scare me next time. Better now?”

She nods and her blankets rustle. It is impossible to see where she is facing. A colossal yawn echoes in the bedroom.

“Are you feeling well?” Reimu lets out, in sort of a forced way.

“‘Well’ is relative. It’s not insufferable, but I wouldn’t run a marathon. How about you?”

A grumble is her answer. She amends:

“Is it past midnight?”

“I didn’t check it.”

“Let’s say it is.” With eyes more used to the dark, he can see Reimu with both hands behind her head, facing up. “The festival is tonight.”

“We’re pretty close to New Year, then. We spent more than a day inactive.”

_ And everything went right, that’s what surprises me. _ Being part of Gensokyo’s history in such a way will, for sure, be in his mix of a diary and history book, in a constant process of writing and reviewing.  _ Of course, some things aren’t going to the final version. And that’s not my fault… _ Reimu laments:

“And to think I’ll have to stand up, train, and perform the ritual.”

“I believe I’m not of any help.”

“You’ve already done too much.”

_ I know it’s not enough. _

“And I intend to keep on it. All of Gensokyo owes their life and safety to you.”

_ The hero saves the people, but who saves the hero? _ The enigma is intriguing while she is quiet for a good moment.  _ Did I go overboard? _

“What’s wrong?” He looks for her semblant, and, in the dark, it can not be seen.

“You know when you think of a thing, but you never really talked about it?”

“Yes, I suppose, and I don’t like the feeling. It does not sound well when put into words.”

“It’s more like…” She looks for a definition. “It’s not made to be spoken out loud.”

_ Because it looks more real. _

“If the things I say bother you, would you like me not to say it?” He asks.

“Did someone ever tell you that you ask weird questions.”

_ I should defend myself, but that upset tone says it’s better that I don’t. _

“No. Just that they’re excessive.”  _ “You ask too many questions.” I know _ . “Weird? No.”

“I’d have left by now if I didn’t wanna be here.”

_ You invited yourself and came with your own two legs. _ The idea of someone thinking of him as company is pleasant. He reciprocates the kindness standing up with all he has got, in order to make some tea. The turned off alarm clock shows something like six in the morning, the day without its dawn yet. They both sit on opposite sides of the bedroom, without talking. Rinnosuke being too distracted with the colorful bracelet. The sound of flipping pages awake him from his trance; Reimu reads Tenshi’s journal with the lantern light.

“She can draw, check it out.”

The open notebook drops in his hands. There is a draft of the face of them both with very fine artstyle and proportions.  _ Even the facial expression.  _ On the drawing, Reimu carries a grumpy face, mildly bored.  _ Typical. _ He leaves that matter aside:

“How did she do that so fast?”

“What is a scribble compared to the mess she made?” She shrugs, wrapped up in a blanket.

Rinnosuke studies the moment. He flips pages of the journal and stares at Reimu every now and then, until she asks for the book back and starts reading.  _ She’s not happy, but she’s been worse.  _ He takes the cup of tea to his lips and the porcelain touch when he puts it away reminds him of an unsolved issue. He thinks, rethinks, considers and reorganizes many tries, but none of them is completely safe. The sun makes the lantern each time less necessary. He closes his hand with the bracelet inside, leaving it on the ground, and interrupts her reading.

“I know you don’t like my questions, but I need to clarify a thing. I swear it’s just one.”

_ Be careful now. _ She waits silently and grudgingly.

“Do you intend to… I mean, do that again?”

“It depends.” Reimu has a smirk. “What are you talking about?”

_ Either she wants to make me say it out loud, or she doesn’t want to talk about it. The latter is my bet. _ He hesitates before going on:

“See, it was something very unexpected and it happened some nights ago. You…” The words are almost stuck.  _ Please. You’re not the most inexperienced person in the world. _ “You kissed me. I had no idea what was that.”

“It was exactly what it looked like. Don’t try to disguise another question.”

_ Score one for her. _

“I’m sorry. Your answer, please.”

Reimu lets go of her cup and uses the wall as a support, with a careless posture. She takes a while to talk, in a fake casual tone:

“I’d like to.”

_ You can, I wouldn’t mind, now tell me why. _

“But something seems to stop you.”

“That’s not quite it. Get it?”

“…No, I don’t.”  _ And I’m not quite sure if I want to get it. _

“What I’ve done was right?”

Rinnosuke remakes the situation in his mind.  _ You were in a relationship with your friend, who had a paramour. So, I burst onto the scene without asking for it. _

“I’m not in a spot to judge.” He concludes.

“I don’t think it was right.” She pulls the blankets over herself and straightens her back. “But the more I think of it, the less sense it makes. If I didn’t doubt Marisa’s feelings, I… Woudn’t have to worry. It’d be alright. Even in secret.”

_ It’s a mix of fear of loss and being confused with a possible new feeling, at least I think. _ Before Reimu starts crying, he stretches to the other side of the narrow bedroom. She flinches for a second and lowers her guard when Rinnosuke pets her hair.  _ I don’t know what we are, but you’re way too good of a person to deserve being hurt. _

“Right and wrong don’t seem to exist in this situation.”

“And that makes it all worse, right?” She asks.

“Not to me. Thinking that way removes the feeling of guilt.”

“Thinking that way makes me more confused.”

He did not notice at what point Reimu held his hand, now on her shoulder. He avoids speaking.  _ I’ve come too far to ruin everything now. _

“I need a bit of time.” 

“I’ll still live for some centuries.” He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll clarify some things. I can assure you something later, after the festival.” She holds his hand tighter. “I promise.”

_ People and their habit of testing my patience. _

“I’d be there anyway.” He sighs.

They break apart visual contact. Even if just the blizzard sounds outside, the silence is not so distressing; things look much more in place.

“What about now?” Reimu lets out, almost inaudible.

“I don’t know, you want me to do something?”

A moment of reflection makes him notice and fear the unintended rudeness.

“No, nothing.” She stutters and turns her face aside. “I think I’ll sleep some more. If someone shows up, I’m not here. And you didn’t see me.”

“Alright.”  _ I have a vague idea who you’re talking about. _ “When are you getting up?”

“Whenever. My ritual apparel are sort of in good state.”

_ “Sort of?” Seriously? _ They distance and Reimu lies down again. He masks his disgust. _ My work is better than “good state”. Objects like that are made to last for generations. _ He leaves her to turn the lights on and read in the living room. However, the chronicle collection on psychology can not make him hooked onto it, no matter how intriguing. He taps with the book spine on the arm of the chair some times, closes the book, and reclines himself on the rocking chair with all of his weight. Besides his blurry eyes, still lacking glasses, a thought of his whispers chaos in his ear.  _ Even her clothes I made are lasting longer than herself. _

_ Who else lives a situation like this? _ He goes over the relationships he knows. The bond between the Scarlet servant and her mistress is obscure. To Aya, humans are but a source of news. The reasons for Yukari to be around Reimu and other people are a great question mark; for example, she treats the shrine maiden as a funny singularity.  _ Actually, Yukari’s reasons for anything lack sense. _ He smiles bitterly to brush off memories.  _ And I entered this kind of relationship because… _ Any justification is not firm enough. He rubs his eyes, trying to wake up.  _ Was it an accident? Wasn’t it? Why do I try to understand a thing I clearly can’t? _

The doorbell rings.  _ Oh, that’s true. I left it unlocked yesterday. _ He greets his customer, or else, her companion: Alice’s huge orange cat enters before his owner, clinking his collar and spreading snow on the floor.  _ I’ll forgive this time. _ He almost can not see her face, behind a hood and a scarf.

“The sign said the store was closed, but I tried entering anyway. Is it too early?”

“Don’t worry about that.” He says. “How can I help you?”

“I came to pick up the payment. Marisa gave me a list of the titles she wants and some suggestions for me. Can I search your collection?”

“Sure. This way.” He grabs Marisa’s memo from her hands, runs his eyes onto it, and the dull reality of losing some objects finally hurts. “Talking about Marisa, how’s she? I myself slept for a whole day.”

“She says she’s not well, but I didn’t really believe her.”

_ And you’re right about not fooling yourself. _ He noticed Alice spoke to him much more in two minutes than in all of the other opportunities.  _ And asking why would be a step backwards. _ He trusts her honesty and gives attention to the cat. He plays with a feather teaser, bites Rinnosuke’s hands, and explores the rooms with an adventurous spirit. Rinnosuke gives up on having energy to keep up with him.  _ “Exhaustion: intense and dangerous physical weariness, which complete recovery takes long.” _ He stares at the dictionary as if it would answer if intimidated enough.

“There you are.” Alice shows up at the kitchen door with a hint of a smile. “I found almost everything that interested me. Would you perhaps have a copy of  _ Ars Goetia _ ?”

“I’d love to, but I don’t. Maybe you’ll be luckier than me on making business with Suzunaan. Since today is a festival day, I’m not sure if they’re open.”

She does not make a point of listening to him, calls for her pet, and says goodbye with a bag full of products.  _ It’s for… The greater good.  _ He squeezes his hands to hold back the grief of the loss. Behind closed doors, he is back to the rocking chair while he reads the same page fifteen times due to a messed up attention span. He lets go of the book to take care of the first meal in many hours. Processing so many vegetables is stressful at first, but the disquietude from before ends up leaving him. A peek at the kitchen window kills his good mood.  _ Is it asking too much, for a self-cleaning winter? _ He half considers picking up the tools, but leaves the warehouse as it is.  _ No, not now. I want more tea. _

As the oven does its slow job, Rinnosuke is in the living room diagramming an old project of a hearing aid. On its third prototype, it still needs adjustments for comfort.  _ How’s the Outside World in that matter? _ He plays with the pencil, tapping it onto his cheek, entertained with the possibilities.  _ And to think Beethoven just needed a simple gadget like this. The eternity of his works could have been much greater. _ He asks himself what is the last time he listened to music. The loyal gramophone took its last breath years ago and the noisy moments of festivals happened when he already gave up on the crowd and hid himself at home.  _ But not today. If I hide, I’ll have no answers.  _ He hears falling objects, a muffled sound coming from the bedroom, and leaves the drafts as they are.

“What happened?” He asks.

“I didn’t break anything, chill.” Reimu opens the door. “Good morning again.”

She mops a tea stain from the floor with an old rag that was under a pile of empty boxes.  _ It’s still a pile, but now, it’s not in order.  _ He gives up on complaining when the one who is to blame starts organizing everything.

“Anyway. I made… Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. I don’t know in what meal we are.”

“Great.” She celebrates. “I’m starving.”

Rinnosuke feels the stomach ache again, but his appetite only awakes when he sees the food. Roasted vegetables are a winter classic. He even thinks of talking to her about the prototype, but sees no mood for a conversation. Reimu surprises him:

“I’m leaving. Are you coming?”

“I need to have my new glasses done.”

“Is that a yes…?”

“Just as it looked like.” He nods.

His answer goes unnoticed; she squints her eyes, yawns, and stretches.  _ You’re still sleepy? _ The way to the Human Village does not reveal much, a good portion of it done in silence. In front of a low-profile place, an old lady cleans her door from the snow.  _ Just as I should’ve done at home. _

“Is it you, Morichika?” She rests the tools to greeet them. “I almost can’t believe my eyes. But not believing them is my job. It’s not much warmer inside, but we’ll get out of the wind, at least.”

Even if her knees are not as great anymore, the eyeglasses maker treats him with the same promptness as many years ago.  _ I was her mother’s customer, and I remember when she was born. _ From the corner of the eye, he sees Reimu having fun with a red frame in front of a blurry mirror.  _ She has a fifth of my lifetime, I guess? _ The letters in the distance, in the end, were clear.

“It looks like you really needed new lenses. It was about time you showed up.” The optician puts away her instruments and resets the chair to its original position.

“It happened more due to causality than to hardships on seeing. I have no use for the old frame, keep it if it’s of any value, please.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” She examines it

_ It was better and warmer staying there. _ The breeze is a nuisance and walking on the snow is troublesome. Despite that, there are people working everywhere. The narrower streets do not have them, but in the broader paths, sellers already set up their stands for the night. The route is another compared to the first, heading to the shrine in the end of the road. Looking back, Rinnosuke was forward and Reimu was some steps behind. He returns to meet her in front of a shop. It’s windows are covered in snow up to a point and blurry in the glass parts. When he decides to speak something, a quick figure comes from the back of the store, jumps on Reimu, and they both fall rolling on the snow. Marisa puts her beige beanie back on her head before standing up.

“So, you guys ready for tonight?” Marisa asks.

“I still have some things to take care.” Reimu dusts her clothes. “My part is not the most interesting of the festival.”

_ The rest is just made to get people out of their houses.  _ He decides to let them talk.

“I gotta help my dad, but I’ll check with him if I can go with ya.”

“It’s better if you don’t. Really, I want it to be a surprise.”

Rinnosuke looks at the storefront, still with attentive ears. There is a circular clear spot on the window; someone observed them a while ago. Inside, he can see Mr. Kirisame figure carrying two huge boxes as if they weighed nothing.

“Couldn’t I, like… Help with some spell, or whatever?” Marisa bargains, hesitating. “Isn’t it too much to handle in this little time?”

“No, no, it’s okay, I got this. It isn’t even that hard.”

_ You should be a better liar. Or tell her you don’t want her there. _ A snowflake falls onto his eye when he turns his head to the sky, and he misses the new glasses, still on the making.  _ They’d be blurred anyway, there’d be no use. _

“Hey, let’s get going.” Reimu leaves the small talk to call him.

“Sure. Best regards to your father, too, Marisa. See you all later.”

They leave her behind with a bitter feelings.  _ This wasn’t part of the plan.  _ He decides to keep quiet until they arrive the shrine. There are loads of people on the way cleaning the ground and setting the stands, some of them too focused to notice them pass by; others, curious enough. stop working to see them. Further ahead, someone chases them and they both turn to check.

“I’m sorry for not seeing you earlier. It’s hard to nail boards in this cold.”

The breathless young woman introduces herself when she is breathing again. They almost can not see her face behind so many clothes, but Rinnosuke put two and two together without much hardship.  _ Human Village leader’s niece and owner of a good restaurant. _

“My uncle told me to help you, shrine maiden. There’s a lot of snow on your roof.”

“There’s snow everywhere.” Reimu states with disinterest.

“It sure does. We ain’t free of it anywhere, isn’t it?”

Her endless tries of talking to Reimu are not worthwhile.  _ At least I’m not the one bothering her. _ The third element asks and comments on a myriad of things at the same time she climbs up and down the roof as if it was nothing, until they are able to see the roof tiles again.

“I’ll leave you here and go back to my work. I still have a lot of things to put in place, and I didn’t even start with the food yet… It was a pleasure to help you. See you later.”

“Please thank the leader in my name.” Reimu mutters.

The doors of the shrine, so miserable to hold back the cold, lock them away in a silent otherworld, and Rinnosuke does not dare breaking the spell. He feels free to warm up while Reimu runs from a side to another, looking for whatever it is. He takes his eyes off of the window for a bit and notices a brown coat on the floor. A long skirt joins it, thrown from the side of the opaque folding screen. He is back to staring outside.  _ What’s it called this degree of intimacy? _ He tries to memorize a skillful trick with a pen and does not try it anymore after dropping it so many times. Reimu leaves the private part with a warmer version of her ceremonial outfit, untangling the cords on her rod. She grumps, absorbed in the activity, and shakes the utensil in the air when she can free them all.

“I miss when this thing would fix itself on its own.”

“How long has it been?” He asks.

“Some months ago. It was quite a troublesome year.” She tidies up the top of her clothes. “Can you pass me the kumquat bowl?”

He pushes the bowl on the table with the back of the hand.  _ They’re good. I probably funded them. _ Reimu practices a sequence of movements; some more energetic, other more careful, but all of them take time to be done in the correct order and execution. The choreography is almost the same as in the other issues and periods, with a personal touch here and there. Rinnosuke draws a draft of the performance on the last pages of his notebook, using a human model with no name or face, then detaches the sheet to keep the book’s grimoire nature.

“You’re pretty quiet today.” She says.

_ Someone wants to listen to me. Is it a miracle? _

“I didn’t think you were in the mood to talk.” He replies.

She makes a mocking face, rests the rod on the ground after considering throwing it, and turns around the table to sit closer to him. She lets her head fall and rest on his shoulder, with a tired sigh.  _ No questions, chill. _ He has a hard time controlling his shaky leg.  _ It’s fine, just one won’t do harm. _

“Are you alright?”

“I’m just tired.”  _ I don’t believe it. _ “I can’t rest, even at home.”

“And I should be more responsible. I skipped lots of days at work. The unspoken cons of being self-employed.”

“You can tell me if I’m disturbing you.”

_ I don’t recognize you. _

“I didn’t say that. It’s true I haven’t been keeping my routine, but I don’t quietly accept things that displease me.”

“Yeah, I know. Everyone knows.”

Rinnosuke squints his eyes.  _ What kind of sarcasm is this? _ He states:

“I don’t see how that’s any of a problem.”

“That’s nothing. At least…” She hesitates and turns a bit. “At least you don’t drag everyone into your problems.”

He looks down to her and sighs. His neck hurts; he changes his arm’s position, resting it onto Reimu’s shoulders.  _ She didn’t kick me out. Great. _ He leaves it at it is.

“Your job is to get into trouble. To solve trouble, actually. What’s wrong about that?”

“It doesn’t feel right.”

“It doesn’t mean it is wrong.” He scratches his face before concluding. “Besides, isn’t that enough of pointing flaws in yourself?”

She relaxes under his arm and accommodates herself.  _ It mustn’t be easy to feel this. Or to go through this. Or to be… You. _

“What do you do not to have problems with yourself?” She asks.

“With myself?” Rinnosuke stares at the ceiling while he thinks of an answer. “Forgive me the redundancy, but I live with myself in every moment. I think it happened naturally.”

“Maybe one day, huh?” Reimu looks asleep by his side. “It’ll happen that thing when I see myself as a friend.”

_ You’ve been hanging out too much with people from the other doctrines. _

“Or, we could use the point of view where it was just time. Maybe you’re just in a hurry.” He suggests.

_ But I don’t think that’s all about you. _ Their brief encounter with Marisa still resonates.  _ Does she suspect something? _ He relaxes his body on the wall and the floor, still half-sitting; his back thanks him.  _ Even if she did, who would be her to judge? _ Reimu snuggles with her head.  _ What a rare sight, she’s so calm. _ The whole situation goes over and over in his head, since the night of the anonymous letter until he is the closest he has been to someone in a good while. _ Without all this regret for a breakup, I myself wouldn’t be hurt out of this situation. Also, it’d be good clearing up the ambiguities about the things I can and can’t do.  _ However, something interrupts his train of thought, a question that sucks him like a swirl.  _ What are the implications on liking a person and it disturbing another? Why does it offend all sides involved? Some relationship will exclude the existence of the previous bond? _ The last question is stuck with him a bit more.  _ I believe it doesn’t. Reimu and Marisa miss one another, it’s crystal clear, and none of them are happy about it. Alice looks like she’s unaffected, but what does she care about is a mystery. _

“You’d better go.” She opens her eyes and stretches her back.

“Am I being expelled?”

“Not exactly. The shrine is sort of a storage, sort of a dressing room tonight. And I don’t think this jacket of yours is too warm for later.”

_ Besides, I can be seen and misinterpreted by people who shouldn’t meet me. And there aren’t ceremonial clothes for me to fix as an excuse. _ Reimu’s head is back to his shoulder.

“Do you want me to stay?” He tries to stare at her.

“I want the time to stop and things to be easy.”

Rinnosuke frowns, without a clue:

“There aren’t many hours until we meet again.”

Reimu laughs as if he said some absurdity and finally looks him in the eye:

“Sometimes, I forget you’re not very good with this kind of things.”  _ What things?  _ He holds her hand to stand up. “Why don’t you talk less and do more?”

_ Last time was your fault and you’re still confused about it. I’m not making it worse. _ The safest way is using the short distance for a hug, that she takes a while to correspond.

“Did I get it right?” He questions when they break it apart.

“Yeah, I guess.” Reimu is recovering from almost tripping.

_ So many unspoken rules.  _ He lets out an indignation chuckle before he leaves.

~

His lonely procession of turning off the lights and sealing the windows shut repeats. He hums a classical piece which name he can not put his finger on, quietly enough not to be ashamed of his own tone-deafness. A sudden wave of wind and energy trespasses the closed house and almost knocks him to the ground. He peeks from the door; the greyish weather became a sunset of many shades.  _ Twenty-four hours of a clean roof.  _ The last item goes in his belt bag, almost left behind.

When the sunlight disappears, the paper lanterns start to sprout. Its luminous lines mark the active streets, while the stores and restaurants from the lightless paths have set up temporary stands in a common area, closer to the warmness of the central bonfire and to the curious pedestrians.  _ There are many people outside you don’t usually see. And many troublemakers in peace. _ The statement grants him a smile. The Palanquin Ship must have landed; many of its residents are in the same long line. Neither Byakuren, nor her usual escorts notice him pass by.

“Hello, stranger!” A poke on his back makes him turn to see Marisa with a bottle of alcohol. “It’s a world record to see you outta home so many times a day.”

“It’s rude not to offer things, you know.”

She pretends not to hear, but fills the small cup Rinnosuke gets from the bag. They toast and step aside from the main street.  _ She doesn’t look as sad anymore. Is that goldfish memory or what? _ A tree trunk on the ground has a free spot where they can seat.

“It wouldn’t hurt if it was warm.” He comments on the sake.

“I’ll pay you a round soon. I know where’s the stand. Did you come to look? To eat? To buy somethin’?”

“A bit of everything, I guess.” He hides his hands, feeling cold even with gloves on, inside his clothes. “I almost regret not coming as a seller, but I lacked the time. This year looks especially busy.”

“Yeah, I know.” Marisa puts on her hood. “It’s good to meet ya here. It’s boring to drink alone.”

“Couldn’t you bring anybody?”

“I tried, but everyone’s busy.”

_ Many of your acquaintances are here, and I think you’re ditching work with your father. _ A beginning of a melody reaches their ears; the three phantom sisters manipulate their instruments for the soundtrack of the day. No one is on stage, which they can see from there, and the band hides behind the curtains not to interfere in the future scenes.

“They’re pretty noisy, but after teachin’ them a lesson, they’re sorta good.”

“Your method of making friends is not very usual, Marisa.”

“I didn’t have to hit you, did I?” She pours another, and the bottle is empty. “Follow me.”

The line for the warm drinks is hugely long; they have time to talk about any and everything.  _ Except for what I wanted to know. _ He opts for a safe try:

“Did your payment arrive as expected?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. That juice’s the bomb. Do you have another?”

“Not of that flavor. People from the Outside World rarely lose that sort of thing. Now that you told me about its quality, I understand the reason why we don’t have many of them here.”

“Alice only took a sip because it had alcohol. She’s not a fan. Good for me, huh?”

_ We got to the subject pretty fast. _

“She didn’t want to come or something?” He asks.

“Kind of. She didn’t get into detail, she just didn’t come.”

_ It doesn’t look like they had a misunderstanding. _ He enjoys the heat from the cup on his hands before putting them in his pockets again.  _ And this means they’re still together, and this imbroglio is not over.  _ Marisa pulls his sleeve to call his attention:

“Can we get goin’? I’ve got some stuff to do.”

“Better than staying here, exposed to this chilly breeze. Which side is it?”

She guides him through the corridors up to a stand with little customers. Mr. Kirisame looks even taller and bulkier with so many layers of clothes. Previously distracted with something in his hands, he greets Rinnosuke with less physical display of affection than in his visit to the store, but just as cheerfully:

“Hey, Kourin. Coming from you, it’s like you have just stepped back there at home.” He leaves the object on the stand. “What do you think about this year?”

“I think only such an attractive event to get so many people out of their houses in such a day.”

“It doesn’t look like it now, but I’m one of the prosper sellers. The line just scattered before you arrived. By the way, Marisa, what’s this? A girl a little taller than you came to deliver it.”

“At least I don’t bang my head at home’s entrances, y’know.” She squints her eyes to the flat, rectangular package he showed. “Oh, you can open it. Me and Kourin got it for ya.”

Rinnosuke takes half a second to process it and to shut up when they skip any formalities.  _ I didn't get him a gift at all. _ The package opens to reveal an elegant and black notebook; its new owner’s eyes shine, and he thanks, getting his surprised daughter up in the air.  _ That’s so noble from her. I didn’t even think of giving a present. _

Mr. Kirisame puts Marisa back on the ground. “Keep an eye on the stage, you two. The puppet presentation is starting soon.”

“Puppet?” He looks at Marisa. “But you told me that-”

“I wanted it to be a surprise. Let’s go, before we miss it.”

The corridors become emptier little by little and the crowd concentrates in front of the stage. A light murmur of people chatting is in the air while there is still just music. Marisa tiptoes, but she is not past the shoulder of the person in front of her.

“Want me to get you up? You look like you can’t see it.” He smirks.

“Even you, Kourin? I’d rather go to the front row, there’s some space.”

In a better position, they both discuss the hearing aid Rinnosuke sketches. Marisa confesses not to understand much about it and listens more than she says. However, something makes her airheaded.  _ What is it? _ Inquiring would be uncomfortable, so he returns the conversation talking about the aid’s comfort. At the same time, the music stops and he notices he spoke too loudly. Both freeze in place, looking around as if they apologized. Lights appear in a gradient on the stage and project the shadow of a lovely doll, the lines to it almost invisible. She spins like a ballerina before walking backwards. Alice Margatroid steps forward, dressed in black from head to toe, not lacking charm the way she lacks colors. Lots of other dolls from her arsenal play a fencing duel, an elope, and the daily tasks of a busy housewife. Each skit has its own soundtrack, some are well known, and some are not. The face of the puppeteer is a blank slate throughout all of the performance, adorned with a spark in her eyes that is easy to miss.

“Where was she all this time without being seen?” He kneels besides Marisa and asks with the quietest tone he can. Still, the crowd around them disapproves it.

“She hid with the other star of the show.”

_ What do you mean? _ A moment of thought leaves him sick to the stomach.  _ This could have gone so, so wrong. _ He tries to think of something to say quickly, but the round of applause of the crowd shuts him up before he has a chance.  _ Better. It’s not my duty to tell whatever. _ Alice bows and leaves the stage with class. The silence that follows is tense; a violin melody arises, in the beginning of a slow and obscure theme. From the other side of the stage, Reimu enters discreetly, as if she had nothing to show off.

Her outfit is prim and proper, every cord of the rod does not even dream of being tangled with the next and there is not a hair out of place. As she opens her eyes, she starts a dance that varies with the rhythm of the song, holding back or being energetic when it has to be. Rinnosuke resists looking at his drafts in the notebook; the difference between the rehearsal and the show is striking anyway. He briefly checks and the air has a golden aura that does not come from the bonfire. _The end of the year blessing._ He has seen it so many times that he is unable to count them. _I find it curious that each bearer of this duty is so different from the one before. What a family._ As the choreography finishes and the people from Gensokyo accept the enchantment as a gift, he says goodbye to Marisa and leaves. She tries to follow him to ask why, but he gets lost on purpose. _If I was her, where would I go?_ The festival itself would interest her if it was a better day. Going too far from the Village would be dangerous. _And her problems follow her even at home_… A corner after another in a quick walk, without looking much around, there is a shadow on the trail to Kourindou that his hand lantern does not reveal quite well. The silhouette leaves the road as soon as it hears his footsteps and tries to hide behind a pine tree. He walks closer carefully.

“I come in peace.” Rinnosuke throws his hands in the air.

She takes off the red hood and lowers her guard; she has an upset expression.

“How did you know I’d come here?” She asks.

_ It’s what’s left for you. _ Both breaths condense, even if they do not dare to speak.

“Intuition.”

He lends out his hand and Reimu opts for holding him by the arm. Only the strong wind blows, whistling in the tree branches, announcing the contained blizzard. At the doors of the store, she ignores not having a key and climbs the stairs first towards the entrance. He is about to tell her that, but before he can, she turns with a sudden, unexpected good mood in her face.  _ What’s with it now? _ He turns off the lantern not to obfuscate them.

“Life’s strange, huh?” He keeps quiet. “What was I thinking? Waiting for honesty from the biggest liar I know.”

_ I hope that’s not about me. _ He waits for the rest.

“Alice told me everything this afternoon. For my own good, she said. Because she didn’t think it was right that I didn’t know it. Surprise. I already did, and pretended not to.”

“About them, you mean?”

“Yeah, what else?” Any trace of irony disappears from her voice. “I don’t know when I’m doing the same. I mean, tell her about us. But I will.”

“And what do you think it’ll happen?”

“There’s no way to know it. It isn’t something I can control.”

_ Being around me is not a thing you did out of revenge. As well as Marisa being with Alice is not something they’ve done to harm you. You are aware of this and… _ He loses his train of thought. Without noticing it, Reimu completes it:

“I just wanna be in peace.”  _ As the icing of the cake of this hot mess. _

“If you allow me the question…” She looks like she can not stand him but leaves him be anyway. “What do I do?”

Reimu giggles and gently squeezes his hand.

“You can stop acting like I scared you. If you dare ask something more, I’ll hit your head myself.”

“What an efficient way to make me not afraid of you.”

A quiet moment goes by. She stares at him with a hint of disappointment:

“Nevermind.”

He feels to be suddenly pulled.  _ Oh… that. _ The surprise is not the same, nor the prohibitions seem to be. He dares to touch Reimu’s face with the tip of his fingers.  _ Alright… I think that’s past the line for the open air. _ He thinks twice and feels foolish.  _ We’re alone. _

“Next time is up to you.” She says.

He nods.  _ I’d like to stop time. I’m not too restless when it’s happening. It’s less uncertain. _ A high-pitched whistle calls his attention; he turns still in time to see the upwards shot, that soon explodes in an orange bouquet. More fireworks follow that one in all the colors of the rainbow. They both sit on the stairs to watch the show. Looking anywhere else except for him, Reimu asks:

“Can I ask you something?”

“If it’s within my reach, you can.”

“Just until dawn, can you…” She takes a while to go on. “Can you ignore the rest of the world?”

“The conditions happen to be perfect for that.”

She seems satisfied. The annoying wind returns; Rinnosuke thinks of the heater, only some meters from him, so close, but so far.

“We’ll get inside in a minute.” She assures.

_ Are you a mind-reader now? _ He nods and goes back to observing the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. What are your thoughts? Did you like it or not? Writing this story and now translating it was like therapy for me, and it became a place to come back, even now when it is finished. I hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I appreciated writing it, even if I had to interfere in one of my favorite ships to make another one out of it, and it is one I ended up loving with all of my heart. "Who is endgame" is still an open question, since there are conversations and arguments that still need to happen, and didn't happen within the time period of the story. Maybe one day I'll come back to it and answer that. ;)
> 
> Furthermore, the question that made me write more than 30k words was: how would Reimu behave in a relationship with a guy? We don't really have many men available as for the official lore, and I didn't want to create an OC, so I invested in this relationship with the man I had in hands. As he has a sort of... Peculiar personality, and I left a charade in his behavior and thoughts for you to untangle, that's how I imagined their starting point.
> 
> See you in my next adventures in Gensokyo.


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